so black and white thinking im having a lot of thoughts theses days about how i am a failurewhat was ? i good at where was i outstanding i did a bit in music but ive been passed by the new generationi feel like ive been ran over by a modren car .in fact i an not outstanding at anything at all anymoremy girlfriend even dosnt give me time its black and white.i have failed on or off thinking its like an exampass fail some times i feel like i have failed so i should die how far i got or how much i tryed seems to be worth nothing but i do notice other people didnt get there either1000s100,000 and i got quite far a head of themso why dont they mind black and white did didnt i didnt get what i wanted .i did try really hard its just i wasnt that person that was going to get there .im just a number like a seed that never grew dont get this worng i can look at this in clear factbut that does not meen that it doesnt affect me at a great leavel at times its like a clear reason to diei failed so why try anymore .it feels like schoolwhere im a nothing the crazy thing is that people who know me say im smartand they say i seem to be able to do anythingand my reply isyou really have no idea how stupid i really am my trust in people is at a very low level these days i am a person to and that pisses me off because .i fall into the same traps that i hate as a person everyone talks big but acts like a small animal in the way they react to the world and it all ends in deathall the greatest works in the worldare lost it really meens nothing when your grabing your last breath life is like being left on an island aloneafter a while you find things to pass the time it becomes a life but death has the effect of a boat that comes to pick you upand as you sale away you find you never left the island the island is the place you are till you die saling away changes nothingthe only thing that will change you is death
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On or off thinking is how we are raised. Good/bad. Good/evil. It\'s a lot of opposites and black and white thinking.
I see \'buts\' in your writing that I\'d like to leave out. It\'s like you see the good, but you must have a bad attached to it. It doesn\'t have to be that way.
We are all animals. Humans are just another creature, trying to survive.
It\'s common with trauma survivors to see the worst. We evaluate all events and imagine the worst outcome, in preparation.
To survive the worst outcome.
Thinking that way is a lot of stress. It\'s very hard on our brains. Like too much exercise. The brain gets fatigued. So does the body.
You are not a failure. You are a person. A human. You are on this planet just like everyone else and you are just trying to get by. You could use a few breaks though. I am hoping you get them.
To survive the worst outcome.
....i like that .... thats very very very smart seeing that at all...i didnt see that way of thinking.
To survive the worst outcome.
i do that all the time
.i live like that
i see many shades in other people just not myself
.i think i do but i dont really
my self jugement does not have that
self jugement is learnt from the outside i think
and i always saw people treating me as on off
in fact i find people treat me as \"on off\"
with love
i they have always turned on and off like a switch
and that is something i find very hard to deal with
and really its something i now do myself alot
i turn myself off to people when im in trouble
..i dont shut them out i close down or erase
i dont do that to a person i do it to myself