im not being nice to people right now  .im being cold aukward  its because i feel hurt not sure if its the right word  unloved un valued and i feel upset that people i know  give all of them self to people who are not nice and i am alone  its like saying i am even more worthless and the same people say i should be morepositive  realy im thinking f ck you f ck you you dont know    and that fixes nothing so i close down  i shut myself off .if no one wants me i close the doorsthen i can decide  to keep them out its my choicereally no one is comming  but i close anyway and no its not nice  some times i wish someone could hold me or care about me  but no i will die alone ,i always did know that