Catching up
Hello dear journal of DS .... I don't know how I would get through these difficult days without the Loving Kindness here at DS.
I am trying to get back to each of you little be little, for I missed you all so much and miss being here to give as much TLC as I can, for its with eachother we can manage to at least change our low moods from feeling life's challenges while dealing with a chronic illness.
I must admit dealing with cancer is quite scarey and I have been researching alternative means to heal it. Everything I read and watched is about improving the immune system through detoxing and rebuilding it, which is Holistic by taking into account the body, mind, and soul. I will write about some of the useful information soon, which might help some here, because our immune systems have been compromised. Even if some modalities help a bit, I'll take that bit and be grateful for it. I don't want to take the medication for five years I am on because it strips bone density and I refuse to take the meds the oncologist prescribed for osteoporosis, because the side effects are worse than any benefit as far as I can see.
I am trying to juice and or make smoothies everyday, but some days I can barely make a pbj sandwich.
Lol. I accept this as the process of gaining strength slowly. I am on a mission to get well and taking it one day at a time. If I think ahead into what the future might be I will become anxious because all that exists is this very moment. I have learned to LOVE myself with gentle care as I would for others. Patience of improvement Today keeps me in the moment with much love for my body that is ever so weary and the love gives me courage and strength to move forward as best as possible.
My son has abandoned me altogether, saying I am of no value and some more very cruel comments, but I deal with this behavior better, as he isn't well when drinking any alcohol. I just miss the grandchildren very much, but accept what is right now and move on with love and forgiveness for my son and much love for myself to gently do the best I am able to do today for the betterment of my present life's journey, then I can share this same kindness with others.
I prefer to choose love over other perceptions I have had of myself including the ones that were drilled into me growing up and even as an adult. Love of self brings me closer to God and then I am missing nothing in this world.
I also stopped comparing myself to others. That was a major help in accepting the present! When I choose to remain positive and just let all the negative thoughts that swirl in my mind to just be what they are... Just thoughts, my mood is one of serenity. Of course I am not perfect at this, however o an making strides. Being the witness of my thoughts and practicing focusing on my breathing changes how I respond rather than react to life.
I am also grateful for what I have, especially when catching up with the news out of the Middle East. So many suffering refugees having to leave their home and countries.
May God bless them with finding places to thrive.
I will write to each of you that have been so very thoughtful to keep me in mind. I will also come around more often, for here is a good place to be for the uplift mento of us all. I love you all and send prayers of healing mind, body, and spirit.
I am trying to get back to each of you little be little, for I missed you all so much and miss being here to give as much TLC as I can, for its with eachother we can manage to at least change our low moods from feeling life's challenges while dealing with a chronic illness.
I must admit dealing with cancer is quite scarey and I have been researching alternative means to heal it. Everything I read and watched is about improving the immune system through detoxing and rebuilding it, which is Holistic by taking into account the body, mind, and soul. I will write about some of the useful information soon, which might help some here, because our immune systems have been compromised. Even if some modalities help a bit, I'll take that bit and be grateful for it. I don't want to take the medication for five years I am on because it strips bone density and I refuse to take the meds the oncologist prescribed for osteoporosis, because the side effects are worse than any benefit as far as I can see.
I am trying to juice and or make smoothies everyday, but some days I can barely make a pbj sandwich.
Lol. I accept this as the process of gaining strength slowly. I am on a mission to get well and taking it one day at a time. If I think ahead into what the future might be I will become anxious because all that exists is this very moment. I have learned to LOVE myself with gentle care as I would for others. Patience of improvement Today keeps me in the moment with much love for my body that is ever so weary and the love gives me courage and strength to move forward as best as possible.
My son has abandoned me altogether, saying I am of no value and some more very cruel comments, but I deal with this behavior better, as he isn't well when drinking any alcohol. I just miss the grandchildren very much, but accept what is right now and move on with love and forgiveness for my son and much love for myself to gently do the best I am able to do today for the betterment of my present life's journey, then I can share this same kindness with others.
I prefer to choose love over other perceptions I have had of myself including the ones that were drilled into me growing up and even as an adult. Love of self brings me closer to God and then I am missing nothing in this world.
I also stopped comparing myself to others. That was a major help in accepting the present! When I choose to remain positive and just let all the negative thoughts that swirl in my mind to just be what they are... Just thoughts, my mood is one of serenity. Of course I am not perfect at this, however o an making strides. Being the witness of my thoughts and practicing focusing on my breathing changes how I respond rather than react to life.
I am also grateful for what I have, especially when catching up with the news out of the Middle East. So many suffering refugees having to leave their home and countries.
May God bless them with finding places to thrive.
I will write to each of you that have been so very thoughtful to keep me in mind. I will also come around more often, for here is a good place to be for the uplift mento of us all. I love you all and send prayers of healing mind, body, and spirit.
Replies
Wow, what a beautiful journal! Thank you so much for sharing your peaceful spirit with us. I would be interested in hearing what you are learning about holistic medicine. It sounds like you have made some major strides in spiritual formation. You are so right that loving and accepting yourself helps you to be closer to God. People often don\'t see the link, but it is very much there. I am so sorry for what your son said. He is not being himself if he is under the influence. I know that is no excuse for saying those things to you, but it provides some context to know that he is not living out of his true center. I am glad you can refuse to receive that into yourself. You are very valuable and we love you. I\'m glad that you love you too. Many blessings. Heather.
Good for you, dear! Your words make me very happy for you; you\'re on the right path. So much of our quality of life depends upon how we view ourselves and life.
I \"have heard\" that massive mega-dosing with Vitamin C, like grams and grams every day, as much as your stomach can tolerate, can work like a miracle drug for many ailments, *including* cancer. Search mercola.com too; I\'ve see other non-pharmaceutical avenues for treating cancer there.
My very best wishes and highest hopes for you, Falconwing. Do check back and let us know how you\'re feeling.
Hugs and Blessings, Jack
This is an inspiring journal entry. Even though you have 3 major stressful situations in your life (chronic illness, cancer, and non-supportive son), you are able to find a positive outlook. I am so impressed. If you are trying a different aromatase inhibitor, and this second one has intolerable side effects, keep asking for another choice. I know women that I have met through the cancer support group I attend that finally found one that they could live with, but it took 3-4 trials. Please share with us anything holistic you find helpful. I am very interested in this type of health care. Hope things continue to improve.
YOur journal is one of the most inspiring, uplifiting things I have read in a while. You are doing amazing spiritual work for/on yourself as you practice meditaion and self love. You are bringing your meditaiton into every daily acitivity. That is the whole idea - to be in each moment and live it and love ourelves no matter how tired, pained or compromized we are. They say \"loe your nrighbor as yourself, but it is treally the other way around. IT all begins with loving ourselvs and eing as kind and compassionate as we can be toward ourselves. YOu are doing it and this is themost healing thingyou can do for yourself. AS far as food and hoistic are go, I\'ll also be interested in what you discover. They say that all leafy greens are some fo the greatest healers. Just grab bags of greens: kale, spinach, chard ` all leafy greesn of all types are they best for us. STeam em and throw em in canned or homemade soups. OR throw \'em in a smoothie. Soemtimes instead of bread, I roll up chicken or turkey in th greens an make a wrap. I try to figureout any way to ge those greesn in to me. ANd, kale is great for osteoporosis stuff. Eat those greens. STeam em up and throw in an egg or two.
Good luck Dear One, you are a a brave, strong soul and you are healing on many levels. May you be blessed by all beings, here and passed.
Love,
Denise
I am so glad I got to this journal tonight! Due to my present circumstances, I am quite a bit behind, but I sure am sorry about that. From what I read, that you express so well, I see a woman who is strong, determined, gentle and needing support and love and lots of hugs. I know you would like that to come from your son. I\'m sure that with your physical maladies, you don\'t need to have this emotional turmoil over what will become with your relationship with him. I do believe that you will do what is best for you!!
It\'s hard to be chronically ill. Never mind adding cancer to that!! I pray that you are able to keep on a positive note during this trial. I believe that you can. And I am here for you, sweet lady! xo