Alone
I was re-reading yesterday's journal entry, and I know I said the writer captured my feelings well, and to some extent he did, until i noticed the "we" and "us". In my grief for my daughter, there is no we..its just me. Nobody else is truly mourning her except for me. I know babies are made by two people but her father hated the idea of her, even asked me to abort her when he heard I was pregnant, so for him her death was a huge relief. I read blogs by other baby loss moms and they have their husbands/boyfriends by their side, supporting them, grieving with them..and when they say how their sorrow couldn't be worse..i shake my head and think...you could be alone!
I don't mean to say I have no friends and family that care about me, because I do. What I don't have is someone who loves and misses Sinza. In this I am alone. Maybe she loves and misses me too? I just don't know...baby girl, if you can read this...send Mummy a sign please!
I don't mean to say I have no friends and family that care about me, because I do. What I don't have is someone who loves and misses Sinza. In this I am alone. Maybe she loves and misses me too? I just don't know...baby girl, if you can read this...send Mummy a sign please!
Replies
I felt alone for a long time too, and I know that your situation is different, but from one angel mom to another I would like to tell you that you might not be as alone as you feel. I didn\'t think anyone else cared until I saw my mom cry on my baby\'s first birthday, and years later my sister finally told me that she avoided me after I lost my baby because she was so upset and had no idea how to comfort me because she couldn\'t imagine what I was going through. And to this day my dad gets very quiet and looks away if anyone mentions my baby, which is his way of being sad. I know it\'s hard to see now, but the people around you who love you are probably hurting too, though not as much as you are. Try reaching out, you might be surprised at what you find.