sigh
So, nobody has talked to me since I confessed. None of my friends here. Nothing at all. I feel super weird.
I came to my mom's in hopes of feeling better, but I still felt down. I expressed some worry and my step dad said "don't be negative. I'm negative enough for both of us" I'm certain he wasn't being mean, but I always feel invalidated.
I'm really feeling down. They keep saying "oh you just need to keep trying. Keep being creative" I feel like nobody understands how bad it is. Nobody understands that my daily feelings are 90% fear and embarrassment.
I came to my mom's in hopes of feeling better, but I still felt down. I expressed some worry and my step dad said "don't be negative. I'm negative enough for both of us" I'm certain he wasn't being mean, but I always feel invalidated.
I'm really feeling down. They keep saying "oh you just need to keep trying. Keep being creative" I feel like nobody understands how bad it is. Nobody understands that my daily feelings are 90% fear and embarrassment.
Replies
You family clearly has very strong effect on you, With one word, one gesture they can make you unhappy. To stay happy try to cut contact with them. Family is something that we do not choose. We choose our friends. Try to find some. And you have one here already :-)
Luna, I think I understand what you are going through. Family members should love one another, and when you don\'t feel love, but hostility, it hurts a lot. Insensitivity hurts, also. I have experienced this with my own family, especially over the past five years. Ugly comments, rudeness, you name it. I realize that just because they are related to me it doesn\'t always mean I\'m going to be treated in a respectful manner. So, I\'ve had to distance myself from my family. I don\'t live in the same city as my relatives with the exception of one niece, who hasn\'t come to visit me yet (even tho she has lived in the city at least three years).
I have a lot of health issues, but I have discovered that there are a lot of kind and understanding people here on DS. You can vent, and no one criticizes you. I\'ve received good advice from people who are going through similar things.
God has also sent me some friends who call me from time to time, after I prayed and asked for help. Real friends.
Families can try to tear your self-esteem apart. I know mine gave it a shot. Not everyone, but enough of them. I decided I won\'t be disrespected anymore. And I\'m feeling better about myself.
I urge you to keep coming back to DS. I\'ve been blessed to find some friendly, caring people who really take the time to listen to me. It will happen. If you\'d like to add me as a friend, please feel free to do so. I care.
Lulu
Oh...I can\'t cut ties with them. I really do love them so much. My step dad just has a way of......being so caught up in his own illness that sometimes he can be insensitive. I know he doesn\'t mean it because it crushes him to think he hurt my feelings. Sometimes it\'s just a recipe for bad if we\'re both feeling depressed and I go visit. Still, I take the risk because it\'s hard to make time and my mom is very comforting. I just wish he\'d think more before he blurted things out.
That is a great attitude to take. Many times people just react without thinking. As a person with adult children, it would break my heart to ever think I hurt a loved one. Thanks for giving us a pass. Hugs!
I really feel with so many including myself my family doesn\'t understand me and I don\'t get validated also. I know it is hurtful but it doesn\'t mean they don\'t love you. I am glad your mom is comforting.