PAIN!!!
Oh Dear Lord I need help!!! I just don't think I can make it...I can't work anymore...I can't take care of other people when I can't take care of myself! It is so emotionally draining and I am running on empty. I just have no human contact besides work, my friends and family either can't handle my grief or just don't know what to do with me. I can't blame them, I don't know what to do with myself. I am in so much pain!!! I understand my daughter wanting to get away from her pain...but I can't help wondering where I would be if I had not lost her. I know I would not be so lost myself. Lost, untethered like a kite on a broken string except with every cell of my body screaming for the touch of my baby. I just can't keep living like this...I just...can't
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I felt the same pain. It\'s terrible. Then someone on this site told me to just try and get through a minute. Then two minutes. Somehow I was able to do this. It\'s now been 7years since my son died and things are better. Please hold on. Know that time passing helps.
Oh Gina...My heart hurts with you. I wish I had an easy \"fix\" or my words would help ....I have my days and moments but I try not to look ahead or behind, just take one frickin moment at a time and somehow it hleps. I am learning that my feelings & emotions are just that and they change minute by minute so when I need to yell, scream, cry, I do and those few moments when I can breathe, I do that too.
I am so sorry, Gina.....I\'m with you....((((hugs)))) Vicki
Oh dear Gina, I get it. I was just where you are early on. At work, there were times that I just wanted to stand up and scream. It took a lot of restraint to stop myself from doing just that.
I understand how emotionally draining this is. Every time I thought of my son, which was every minute, I needed to catch my breath.
It\'s hard, Gina, I know. But just as Gari above said, it\'s just a minute by minute journey in the beginning. But as the years passed (it\'s almost 6 years for me), the breathing is easier, the pain less intense. Of course, I still have trips into the \"abyss\" as I refer to it, but those times become farther apart.
Gina, all I can recommend is to reach out to whatever supportive resource is available, whether it be ForMomsOnly, The Compassionate Friends, etc.. Fortunately there are many support groups, books, music that help in the healing process of this horrible grief.
Gina, my heart goes out to you. I wish I can give you a tight hug in person. Sometimes that can really help to know that you are not alone in this. And for me, a good cry now and then can help to cleanse my heart, mind and soul.
Love and Peace and Tight Hugs,
Diane
Dearest Gina, I feel the same way, so I do understand! I keep on wondering how to continue on, we all are trying to figure this out. I wish I had an answer,all I can say is we are here for you. I care about you and I pray you can feel our love, arms outstretched to hold you. I try an inch along and a lot of the time it works but when the tears start I just go with it. There is not much I can do. Loving hugs, Debbie
Sending you a big HUG and compassion Gina. Your pain is great but so is your love for your daughter. Be extra loving and good to yourself right now. and compassion for you always
It\'s all part of this lousy rollercoaster we are on. It\'s been six years for me and I have had many many moments like yours, just coming out of those really down periods. Hang on. When you go to bed at night pray that the next day will be a bit easier. Try to do one thing to nurture yourself. It\'s so very hard, especially if we think about having to deal with this the rest of our lives. One day, one moment at a time. It will, at times, be nor bearable. Sue xo
You CAN do this...it is hard, so very hard...but take it one minute at a time. It takes longer than you think...but it does happen. We love you and understand this pain and somehow you make it. Love and gentle hugs...Karen
Gina you are not alone, but I know you know that. I can only say what I do when I feel the way you are right now ...which happened to me only a few weeks ago. I visit my doctor...tell him honestly how I feel. I\'ve made up my mind that if I feel suicidal --- and I do sometimes --- I will always seek help even if it means asking to be admitted to a mental hospital to keep me from hurting myself. Jason was a suicide and it has hurt me and his daughter and his father and his brother and his wife with an unimaginable pain. I know you know. I have resolved not to cause my family any more pain and that\'s what you need to do...get help. Online friends can only help to a point, sometimes we just have to break down and get a mood altering drug. There are so many anti-depressants and if one doesn\'t help then perhaps another will. I take Zoloft and Trazodone, and I know I could not survive without them right now.
We are all living with this terrible pain, this abscence that we can\'t get used to. So much more present in his abscence than in his prescence five years ago. Terrible. We suffer with our grief, we call upon each other to tell us that the year passes, then two, and maybe a few years past that, we can smile at our memories again. Love, Hold On, abby
Gina
Oh Gina. I get it. You have a job that would be emotionally draining for anyone, but you especially. You can understand their feeling better than anyone.
Our grief is overwhelming. You are right. You need to take care of Gina right now. I hope you have someone to help you through.
Love and tight hugs, M
Just wishing I knew how to help. I\'ve lived through it... and I\'m living through it... because the pain that leaves me wondering if I can go on... do I want to even can overwhelm me... Its 8 years 7 months... just 5 more months till its 9 years... and yet last year on the 8th anniversary... I just came unglued... I was so mad... I was supposed to be handling things... realizing the anniversaries are just another frigging day... but I was wrong... it was like that number... how can it be 8 years... all I know right now... I won\'t assume that 9 will be easier... It will never be easy... but maybe by taking it one little bit at a time... Sending you hugs and prayers that you will find comfort. Hugs Elissa
Dearest Gina, just be very kind to yourself, my friend! I am with you on this very hard journey. Gentle hugs!! xxx
It was 9 years last month for Marissa and will be 5 for Jennifer in November. I really as just a shell walking around but I have some time when the light of love is here. Wishing you some peace, one minute at a time. Hugs, Kathy
I\'m getting the feeling that Others think we should just move on. It\'s not possible for a mom. The love is still so great. Our child mattered, their life was precious.
We are here on this journey right along with you. So tie your kite string back onto us and vent. We care and hold you up when you feel the sadness is more than you can bare.
XOXO, Debbie