Whew!!!
Okay, so today was my first full day...I am so totally exhausted. Was up at 5am and home about a quarter till 5pm. Gonna sleep a little later in the morning, I like having extra time to snuggle my furbabies, check my e-mail, facebook, etc. But I don't have to be at work until 8am and its a 40 minute drive at most...the traffic is pretty light early in the morning. Coming home it's a different story.
Definitely have to build up my stamina...Today from one moment to the next I was excited, scared, overwhelmed, hopeful...just the whole gamut of emotions.
The program is amazing...we are given a really large budget to help people in the community who don't need to be hospitalized, but need support, some more than others, of course. Today I got my own credit card, laptop and cellphone. We have a daily meeting at 1pm and plan the afternoon and the next morning. Right now we have 83 clients...I don't think I even know 83 people...but my teammates know them all very well. I was told everyone feels overwhelmed at first...I doubt they started coming off a 7 month journey through hell...hiding in the dark and afraid of everything. Two weeks ago, when I got called in for an interview, just the thought of an interview scared me to death. You remember sisters, don't you?? You guys told me to just go, give it a chance and see how I felt. I felt so overwhelmed my husband drove me...so I got there and all of a sudden I really, really wanted the job. As the days went by I got discouraged, then I got the call!!! The offer!!! Shit...now I am scared again...lol...I am so complicated...
So the past 2 days I spent a lot of time gathering documents, getting fingerprinted for a criminal background check...getting tested for illegal drugs. Both days I was back home soon after Noon and scooped up my babies and went straight to bed. So then, this morning...ohhh...my nerves were kicking in double time. I was nauseous this morning...wish I was pregnant, but not likely...my husband had a vasectomy 20 years ago...so I attributed the nausea to being scared and having to go out into the world like a real adult woman.
If I can just jump in, catch on, get to know the clients and their needs...I will truly be helping the kind of people I want to help...but I am giving myself an out. We have a 90 day probation...I think in 3 months I will either be where I need to be or I will bow out gracefully. I really, really want it to work...but if it doesn't, it won't be the end of the world.
I am really going to miss not having access to my facebook and daily strength accounts on an almost constant basis. I have made some real friends and I don't want to lose those relationships. I hope, like I said, I can build up my stamina and at least still have an hour or two to check in and communicate every day.
I love you sisters!!! And Mary Ann, I really, really love you!!!
Definitely have to build up my stamina...Today from one moment to the next I was excited, scared, overwhelmed, hopeful...just the whole gamut of emotions.
The program is amazing...we are given a really large budget to help people in the community who don't need to be hospitalized, but need support, some more than others, of course. Today I got my own credit card, laptop and cellphone. We have a daily meeting at 1pm and plan the afternoon and the next morning. Right now we have 83 clients...I don't think I even know 83 people...but my teammates know them all very well. I was told everyone feels overwhelmed at first...I doubt they started coming off a 7 month journey through hell...hiding in the dark and afraid of everything. Two weeks ago, when I got called in for an interview, just the thought of an interview scared me to death. You remember sisters, don't you?? You guys told me to just go, give it a chance and see how I felt. I felt so overwhelmed my husband drove me...so I got there and all of a sudden I really, really wanted the job. As the days went by I got discouraged, then I got the call!!! The offer!!! Shit...now I am scared again...lol...I am so complicated...
So the past 2 days I spent a lot of time gathering documents, getting fingerprinted for a criminal background check...getting tested for illegal drugs. Both days I was back home soon after Noon and scooped up my babies and went straight to bed. So then, this morning...ohhh...my nerves were kicking in double time. I was nauseous this morning...wish I was pregnant, but not likely...my husband had a vasectomy 20 years ago...so I attributed the nausea to being scared and having to go out into the world like a real adult woman.
If I can just jump in, catch on, get to know the clients and their needs...I will truly be helping the kind of people I want to help...but I am giving myself an out. We have a 90 day probation...I think in 3 months I will either be where I need to be or I will bow out gracefully. I really, really want it to work...but if it doesn't, it won't be the end of the world.
I am really going to miss not having access to my facebook and daily strength accounts on an almost constant basis. I have made some real friends and I don't want to lose those relationships. I hope, like I said, I can build up my stamina and at least still have an hour or two to check in and communicate every day.
I love you sisters!!! And Mary Ann, I really, really love you!!!
Replies
Well done Gina. It sounds like me on the first day of a new job. You have the right attitude. You have an out if you need it. But I have a feeling that you will do well and help a lot of people. You know whereof you speak. I say that because I was a far better palliative care nurse for the patients and their families after I lost my mother. I could empathize with them. There is nothing like walking in another person\'s shoes to understand.
I hope you are having a good sleep and wishing you well.
Love and huge hugs,
Marlene
After being my girls nurse for their whole lives, I understand how you feel and I think you will be great. Gina just remember in all this very difficult journey, you need to take care of you, breathe, rest and feel all the love being sent to you. Hugs, Kathy
Oh Gina, those complicated emotions are normal. This is a significant change and adjustment for you. But I believe you will level out once you get comfortable and knowledgeable with this new job.
The job sounds really good, and your attitude is so great about wanting to help others in need. It sounds like a good fit for you.
But like you said, you can be the true judge of that during the probationary period. I wish you the best in however this works out.
As far as FMO friends are concerned, we are all friends for life! :)
Love and Hugs,
Diane
You are giving it a try and that is what matters. You will be up to speed in no time and you will know. This is a very significant change and lots and lots of grit, grace and wiggle room are needed. Some days you may feel on top of the world and others not so much, yet all of it will balance out and you will indeed find your zone.
Everyone here understands one another\'s busy lives and the heart strings are never severed. They are always there. :)
Loving care and keep on keeping on even if those steps are being made in \"ugly\" shoes! LOL! I\'ll bet your feet are happy!
XO Joanie
Just remember in your every day dealing to take care of YOU. Feeling overwhelmed is so very normal. After everything you have been through in the past few months - you can handle this with no problem. Good Luck, take deep breaths, and enjoy!!! Hugs, Ann
Gina, you are trying and doing a new venture. You can do it. One day at a time. I have also begun a new job and there are times when I am so overwhelmed, but then a small break comes and I keep trying. Do the best you can. We will always be SOTH! Sending love and hugs, Debbie
Gina, Congrats on the new job. It sound like it could be very fulfilling. I changed jobs also 5 months ago from a job with little job satisfaction to one where I get to help people. It helps to be able to do something for other -- helps us get through the day and gives purpose. I wish you the best and hope it continues to be a good fit. xo, Laura
Gina, I think you are remarkable! I have no doubt you will help others in this job and in other ways too. You will find a balance and when you have to take a few days off from DS, its ok. I have to sometimes if I am working late or even just feeling overwhelmed on this journey. Your sisters here will always be waiting to hear from you when you are able..no pressure.
May this job bring you much joy and fulfillment. Love to you and Cassi, Linda
Sounds like everyones first day at school or work LOL. You have a good outlook for this job. I do hope this will help in the journey we now live with. Helping others helps us also.
Hugs Penny