Monday
So I finally got the news I have been waiting for, toxicology reports are in. We can go pick up my daughters records and property Monday. I have struggled with this for 3 months...most of all her cell phone. I want to see the texts she sent out right before it happened. One of my biggest fears was that I would find it and there would be nothing...but the deputy that called us that day, February 2, told us that he had went through her phone and she had experienced a bad break-up. So there HAS to be something there, right??? They won't give me much information over the phone...I am both relieved and scared to death. I will finally have my baby's phone, her driver's license, various bank cards, wallet...oh Dear God please don't let there be any blood splatter...something else to worry about. I am going to pick up copies of all of her records I can get, again, very scared but it's something I have to do.
The autopsy report...vile words...will I read it??? How could I not??? Will it cause me more pain??? I am sure it will, but I am equally as sure that I can bear it and it will be worth it, to find out some answers to questions that have tormented me. Oh dear Lord...sisters, I wish I had every single one of you with me!!! My husband will be going, of course...but I need all of you as well. Please keep me in your thoughts...send me energy...strength to do what I have to do.
The autopsy report...vile words...will I read it??? How could I not??? Will it cause me more pain??? I am sure it will, but I am equally as sure that I can bear it and it will be worth it, to find out some answers to questions that have tormented me. Oh dear Lord...sisters, I wish I had every single one of you with me!!! My husband will be going, of course...but I need all of you as well. Please keep me in your thoughts...send me energy...strength to do what I have to do.
Replies
I am right there with you - strong hugs. Like you, I would want to know everything about those last hours, last moments. As painful as it might be, I would want to hold on to that detail, to put the puzzle pieces together. Sending strength and support your way.....Patti
Dear Gina. You know that I will be with you in spirit. It will be a long weekend for you. If you are not up to reading the information, then don\'t. Gina will understand. If you do, please have someone with you - your husband, a good friend. That is really hard stuff to do. Personally, I could not read Lisa\'s hospital records. I did read some of the information from the expert witness who was helping us with our lawsuit. I couldn\'t read it all. I just wanted to go out and shoot the doctor. Luckily he is not here in Calgary!
I still have a Facebook message of Lisa\'s on my computer and I read it from time to time.
These are really tough times. Just know that you are not alone. Sending positive energy.
Love and huge hugs,
Marlene
Hold my hand. I\'ve read my daughter\'s death certificate. They won\'t return anything to you (should not) with blood on it. I think (a strong suggestion now), that you should let your husband go through the phone first. A \"bad breakup\" ... well, friend, I\'ve had at least two in my lifetime, one of which really paralyzed me. I never once thought of taking my life. She did not do this because of a bad breakup, she did it because of her mental illness. Please don\'t lose sight of that. Whomever it was she \"broke up\" with is suffering greatly, too. Much prayer going your way sister.
Sending you all my strength.....wrapping my arms around you tightly. Hugs, Ann
Gina, my son died of natural causes but we did need an autopsy because we didn\'t know what he died of exactly. We had to wait eight months for the autopsy to come in and that was hard but it was good to have some answers. We found out that at the age of 37 he had a heart attack. When I read the autopsy I only read what I had to read to find out the answers to a few questions I had. I don\'t know what to tell you but I would say you and your husband do what you need to do together. Love and prayers and tight hugs, Linda
(((((BIG HUGS!)))))
Sending you stregnth, love and positive vibes. We will all be with you, in spirit. Be strong my soth....
(((HUGS)))...Julia
Hanging on as tight as I can! Lauri
I got my daughters autopsey report it was so sad . alot of the words were medical termanlgy. She died from so many things. I think you might feel better after you read it. I was. Bless your sweet angel big hugs and love mary ann
Loving care as you make these decisions. I read through the ME report that we received and I needed to.
With you and sending all my love and the deepest of caring thoughts to hold you.
Xo Joanie
I will be praying for you and giving ((hugs)) every minute. We, as moms need answers and I pray that you receive those answers that you need..
Much love to you tonight. Vicki
Peace as you read very difficult reports. Love, Laura
May love surround you in this horror journey. You have my support and know that I will be praying for you. Hugs, Kathy
This will be hard....but you are not alone....we are ALL with you in our hearts and our LOVE energy and prayers go with you.
Kala\'s autopsy report remains sealed. Different circumstances I know, but for me, reading it would have served no \"good\" purpose. But if the questions you seek, and need answers too, can be found within those pages, I suggest you let someone else read it first, then sit with you while you read it. This was offered to me by my best friend, and if I had chosen to read it, I would have let my Tammy read it first....just seems like her knowing the words I would read first would somehow \"help\" me to read them....I don\'t know. Like I said, I decided against it.
You and Cassi are in our hearts and prayers~~
We will all be there with you in spirit...and having your husband there will also help you. (((HUGS)))