tuesday
Well, yesterday @ 11:00 I totally lost it......As you read in my previous journal, the day was not going well and my emotions were right there on the edge - a "person who doesn't know better" (I'm getting sooo tired of saying that) gave me a "belated" Mothers Day card and she had written in it - Hope your Mothers Day was special....Oh it was special all right......This person KNOWS.....SHE KNOWS AND YET SHE THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.....REALLY....?????
In a bible study I attend on Thursday eve - one of the women says I allow people "stupid time" because we all have it......I just wonder when does that "stupid time" expire?
Your comments mean the world to me - sending much love & hugs today.....I'm at work - it's a better day but the timer is set once again for "stupid time".....
**I went to the school secretary sobbing and told her I need to go home - so that's what I did - went home, cried and cried because I want my old life back......watched mindless TV and today here I am***
In a bible study I attend on Thursday eve - one of the women says I allow people "stupid time" because we all have it......I just wonder when does that "stupid time" expire?
Your comments mean the world to me - sending much love & hugs today.....I'm at work - it's a better day but the timer is set once again for "stupid time".....
**I went to the school secretary sobbing and told her I need to go home - so that's what I did - went home, cried and cried because I want my old life back......watched mindless TV and today here I am***
Replies
I hear you. You did exactly what you needed to do. I hope you are feeling some peace now. Our old lives died with our children - we are mourning more than one loss.
I had my melt down on Sunday. The emotions build up, so there are times we just need to let it all out.
There is no explanation for stupid people. They just are, and they will never change. Duh - really, who would think that message is appropriate? Oh yes, an insensitive, stupid person!
Wishing you a gentle week.
Love and hugs,
Marlene
Stupid time would explain a lot. I will never understand what makes some people do the things they do. My son has been gone 5 months. Saturday we got a sympathy card from my husband\'s mother with a note inside that said don\'t forget your special daughters. I threw it away before my husband could see it. I\'m sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you find some moments of peace today. Our journey is hard enough without people making it worse. Much love and hugs, Paula
I\'m glad you went home., Vicki. Wish I was there to give you a big hug!
Love,
Donna
How hard that must have been, it is like another dagger to the heart!!! I am sure the person meant well, trying to make it special, but really??? I am glad you went home. Sending caring hugs and love...
Glad you could ask for what you needed dear friend and the choice of words is everything for a mother who has had to give her children back. One of my friends sent an email saying that she was aware of what a bittersweet day it must be for me and that she was holding me in her prayers. That was all I needed to hear and oh, how I appreciated it. This is what I wish everyone could be aware of and know. Deepest of sighs...
Lots and lots of loving care for that beautiful heart of yours dear Vicki and remembering your Jennifer with you.
XO Joanie
I of course understand and I think people just dont know what to say and say it....not right but.....I to have great friends that get it BUT we all lost a child...glad your feeling better...I have had many melt downs this past month((HUGS))
I know how you feel...just want to ignore holidays. Nothing is the same anymore, only sadness.
I WOULD HAVE WENT HOME TO. I DON,T KNOW I THINK SOME PEOPLE JUST DON,T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I,AM GUILTY OF THE SAME THING. I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT. like merry christmas AND I THINK TO MY SELF THEY JUST LOST THEIR CHILD WHAT AM I DON,T . NOW I TRY TO SAY I HOPE YOU HAVE A PEACFUL DAY. I,AM SORRY YOUR DAY WAS LOUSEY. BLESS YOUR ANGEL HUGS AND LOVE MARY ANN
It\'s takes time to truly accept the well wishes of others when the words they sometimes choose cut us to the bone, especially on holidays and special occasions. I do believe the words written in your card were well intended...and the fact that she picked out a card, took time to write a note in it, shows her care and concern for you. Perhaps not the words you needed at that time, but they were offered from the heart, of that I\'m sure.
Deep breath, long exhale....
NOW, and I say now because it took me a long time to get here, when someone offers me words of comfort that are lacking for whatever reason, I can accept them without being overly bothered by them.
I want us all to have special days...lot\'s and lot\'s of special days. Because to me, a special day is when I get a wink from Kala. So when someone wishes me a good day or hopes I have a special day, etc. I can smile and say ME TOO, bring it Kala!
We have to remind ourselves that not everyone....not even another grieving mother...will always say exactly what we need to hear all the time. WE have to be aware of intent and absorb the energy of LOVE that was intended, even when the vehicle used to deliver that LOVE blows soot all over it.
You hang in there my friend! I hope you can feel the LOVE energy I am sending at this very moment!!
Yes, \"stupid time\" is so descriptive of the truth. I am also so tired of always having to be nice when \"well meaning\" people hurt me!! Maybe we should first be kind to ourselves, and let people know just how much they hurt us.
I am sorry that the valleys are so deep...you need one of my \" shit shields \" to protect you from innocent idiots. Loving you in the pit, Lauri
Vicki, I know others may not agree with this but I really feel like stupid time should be expire at some point. I deal with the same nonsense every year from some (not all) people. How\'s was your mothers day? Really? And the fool that sent you a card hoping your day was \"special\". Well, I guess it was special if special is heartbreaking and different from moms whose child is living! I have tried patiently for 5 years now to gently educate those around me that a smile, an understanding nod, a hope the day was a gentle or reasonable one is much appreciated but the other comments....really? I got a million texts wishing me a happy mothers day from family & friends. I got a \"how was your mother\'s day?\" from a co-worker. I don\'t even want to acknowledge the day. Like you, my only child now resides in Heaven. I have no living child to mother and that was a big part of my identity. I don\'t even know who I am on THAT day! I\'m sorry but people need to become educated. Their words hurt. I am so very sorry. Much love to you and your dear daughter and tons of understanding, Linda
So, so crazy, Vicki. I get being a bit clueless because I was, too, before this -- but not crazy clueless like the friend who wrote you that card. Escapism when you can get it through junk tv and mindless books buys you some precious peace and distraction. Hugs, Laura
yes, stupid time is one way of explaining all the hurtful (to me, at least) things people say and do, even family members... I guess we all do stupid things.. I know I have.
Stupid time never goes away. People have shallow thinking skills. I hope your time at home has brought back some of the peace you were looking for.
Hugs Penny