Anxious
Hello again SOTH - I'm waiting for my step-daughter and husband to arrive and visit for the afternoon. I have not seen them since prior to Jennifer's death. (they couldn't seem to make it to her memorial) My husband and his daughter don't always get along and it can be very stressful to be around them. I am feeling anxious - I would give anything to have one more "argument with my daughter" - anything with her. Others don't get it, do they? We don't really know what we have till it's gone, then we want to go back and get what we lost. LIFE...... I can't really tell you why I am writing this to you - oh I know why - because I have come to look forward to hearing from each of you and consider you all my friends who care and are always there. Thank you.
Anyway, I will get through this afternoon - I will try not to wish that my step-daughter was my daughter coming to visit and enjoy the moment. This is tough....feel the tears....so wish it was Jennifer coming to visit..... Thanks for hearing me...feel like I'm rambling but it helps my anxiety and I have to remember to JUST BREATHE!!!
((HUGS)) - MUCH LOVE.....Vicki
Anyway, I will get through this afternoon - I will try not to wish that my step-daughter was my daughter coming to visit and enjoy the moment. This is tough....feel the tears....so wish it was Jennifer coming to visit..... Thanks for hearing me...feel like I'm rambling but it helps my anxiety and I have to remember to JUST BREATHE!!!
((HUGS)) - MUCH LOVE.....Vicki
Replies
I feel honored that you consider me a friend. I too consider the wonderful women of FMO to be my friends too!
I truly hope your afternoon is going well. I sure understand how it feels to see others with their children - and we can no longer be with ours. It does get easier, but I still have pangs of resentment. Life is not fair!!
It is okay to wish that it was Jennifer coming. It is normal. Feelings are feelings and it is okay to feel them and get them out.
Keep rambling and I will ramble back to you!
Love and hugs,
Marlene
Oh my goodness...I am so sorry...just so damn sorry...You know, I fought Cassi almost her entire life over her clothes...clothes!!! Who cares??? She embraced the goth look and I was afraid of people treating her badly because of it. She was determined to be herself and said that anyone that judged her because of how she dressed or looked didn\'t deserve to know her anyway...and she was right. When the time came to choose her burial clothes, I didn\'t hesitate...I outfitted her in her favorite clothes and a new black tee shirt she had in her closet with Marilyn Manson on it. I lost family members because of that...hypocrites that judged her even in her death, including her own grandfather, my own father. He refused to even attend her services because of the \"sacrilegious\" clothing I chose to put her in...what she would have wanted. He is dead to me now. I only wish I had come to this realization long before...all that time arguing over her clothes, I want it back...
Wishing you a peaceful and meaningful visit with your family. I sure know what you mean by wishing it were Jennifer coming for a visit. I struggled so much when taking my precious niece anywhere....SO wishing it were Kala and I and yet knowing my niece was deserving of me...and me of her. But it was still hard!
And yes, I even miss the arguments too!!
(((hugs)))
Dear Vickie: Just take the deep breaths and get through this vist. Maybe they won,t stay long. Bless your special angel Love Mary Ann
best place to ramble..... we all do it...love ya!
Vicki, I hope the visit went well and I do understand. As the eldest of 7, I did not attend family functions for many years, since I felt I could not bear seeing their intact families and my sisters having grandchildren (I have none). In time, I did it and it is okay now. I just had to try.
Peace.
I hope you survived it and can now relax.
Hope the visit went ok and you are now resting....
Keep breathing
I do hope the visit went ok.
big hugs
Penny