Had another panic attack when I woked up yesterday. Tried to shake it off but I ended up just taking a klonopin. Put tarps around the houseboat to try and keep the water out. The boat has really deteriorated cuz of all the water damage. Needs to be refinished inside and out - everything needs to be replaced. I doubt it'll ever be functional again (like me). After we did the tarps I had to go take a nap cuz of the klonopin. Slept a couple of hours till Victor woke me up. Made porkchops for dinner. I HATE THIS DEPRESSION. Forced myself to read a John Grisham novel - comprehension sucks. I HATE THIS ILLNESS. Today I'm going to stay at Dad's and go by MHMR to pick up my meds. Carolyn should be home sometime this evening so I won't be alone for too long. I feel better when I'm around people.