5 YEARS TODAY!
TODAY, March 12, 2012, marks 5 years from the day I walked into Divorce Court, said my peace and felt darned good about it. The now-X took the stand and tried to hide behind the 5th Amendment of the Constitution when directly questioned about his Adultery. So my attorney pulled the trump card and the OW was called as a witness. This was absolutely the piece de resistance -- we both KNEW that she would fold - and she did, but not before pissing the judge off big time. (Big satisfactory smile here). So even though a final decree had not been granted when we were excused (the judge asked for several days to render his official Opinion & Ruling) my attorney gave me a thumbs up and we knew it was a done deal at that point.
The financial stuff had been settled just days earlier (the 11th Hour Agreement) so there was no concern that anything would change in that regard) and she and I linked arms as we walked back up the street to her office and sang "We've Been to See the Wizard...the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!" If any of her colleagues would have seen us, they would have SWORN we had lost our minds, but it's a great inside joke that she and I share and we both still howl about it when we see each other.
So here I am -- 5 years later -- and feeling great! This morning, I finally unloaded those two big storage containers from under my bed that were chock full of all the papers, documents, discovery materials and hateful notes sent to me by the now-X during the 18 Months of Hell. Later this evening, I will ceremoneously toss them into the burn barrel and watch them all go up in smoke. There's probably 50 lb. of papers in that pile! And since I have decided NOT to write my book about that awful time in my life, I might sleep better without all that crap under my bed.
I have decided, instead, to write my book about my New Life -- this story is much more entertaining than that other one would have been, anyway. So I feel lighter and more positive in a lot of respects today!
Speaking of TODAY, it's almost 70 degrees and sunny here in Maryland. This has been an extremely rare and mild winter and, while I have been traveling some the last two months (and leave again this coming Sunday for a week in Sedona, AZ) I'll TAKE IT! Having some big old black walnut trees and scraggly cedar trees cut down and hauled away today; the fence man is coming in two weeks to drive 98 new fenceposts for us to erect new high-tensile fencing around the lower pasture and the electrican is coming sometime this week to replace the main power cable from the meter box to the panel box in my house.
Spoke with my realtor this morning about making some changes to the order of photos on the website listing. Have a list of other areas in this house that I need to attend to before the next Open House (mostly packing up chotckies and putting them away) and some notes on rearranging furniture to make the living room look larger. Always something to do around here, but hopefully I will get those things done BEFORE I have to start mowing the grass twice a week again. My cousin is going to come help me rake out the perennial beds and get a layer of new mulch down as soon as possible. I LOVE to mulch, but my back just won't allow me to do it all myself anymore, so I'm thankful for Cousin Gary! And in between all of these chores, I need to spend some quality time with the Lovely Miss Rio. She is shedding like crazy and I have been working her in the round pen every other day to get her muscled up for spring riding. Now all I have to do is line up some riding buddies and get back out on the trails again!
So that's just a quick update on what's going on here at Smallville. Stay tuned for details...and know that next week (March 18-23) you probably won't be hearing much from me. This trip to Arizona is a 5-day RETREAT with Vikki Stark (author of Runaway Husbands). I am sooo excited to finally meet her in person and the schedule for the week is a mix of sightseeing, meditation, group workshops and personal reflection. Wish you all could join me, but I promise to write and tell you all about it when I return.
Until next time...smiles to you all and carry on! Know that I will be holding all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
xoxox
Replies
Thanks for all your positiveness (as usual) :)
I wanna meet Vickie Stark LOL - The AZ trips sounds wonderful Kathi -
As for the old nasty notes from the X - put them in a big box and send them back to him. You\'ll sleep like a baby!. Mark the box with RETURN TO SENDER! lol
70 degrees here today - it\'s fabulous out!
Good idea to be rid of all of those horrible documents that can only sting rather than enlighten. You are so cool! I was going to say something even before reading your own comments about your life that your relationship is phenomenal! That is definitely something to write about. I did not know about the specifics of your former marriage. I am sorry you had to go through that. However, it seems you learned the lesson and are going forward every day. I like this about you! HUGS
Loved the update. So very glad life is better now -- WOOHOO!!!
((hugs))
:-) Patricia
Thanks for the update, such a positive journal and offers some real hope to those of us in the early stages!! Enjoy your travels!
I loved reading your journal entry today. Haven\'t been on here for awhile again, and that was wonderful reading. Sounds so inspiring. Wish I lived in Maryland and would have my day in court. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I did book that trip to Italy to see my daughter. I cannot wait. Still can\'t believe I\'m traveling alone. Looking forward to some reflection and spending time with my daughter. I\'m going to Florence. I see that you were just in Venice? My daughter did visit there already once, but we were thinking of taking a day trip there. Where else were you in Italy? If I don\'t hear from you before your next trip. Enjoy. That sounds wonderful.
Great update -- and as a lawyer myself, I admire another lawyer who would sing with you in the street, she\'s obviously a rare treasure
Enjoy your bonfire, too!
I almost can see you putting pilling up all those papers and ligthing up the match-like Angela Bassett character in Waiting to Exhale-the image have me with a smile on my face. You go girl!!! And all the happiness you have today---you deserve every minute and second of it!!!
Congratulations Kathi. You have been through a battle, and come out victorious. You are content. You are happy. Bad back and all!
Your story gives me hope that perhaps if I stay the course, am tenacious enough. perhaps I will have a happy future today. It\'s too early for me. I am still so sad. I feel like he won and I lost. But I hope I won\'t feel that way for long. I will learn to believe in me again.
Thank you for sharing and being here to show us that there is happiness on the other side.
Five years, wow. already. It will be five years for me in Sept. and July 31 it will be 2 years of precious freedom. We have come a long way from those dark miserable days that never seemed to end. But end they did and now we are happy and proud of ourselves. We can and should hold our heads up high with pride and all the goodness that is in our hearts. hugs to you my friend and keep on smiling
I already burned the papers but I just put the ashes in a box and mailed it to him. With a note saying these are the ashes of your past. All the lies, how hard you tried to make me collapse without you. I have flourished and now I am happy, at peace and no longer worried about anything.
Wonderful Kathi!
Today, I just finished my final divorce, it has been three grueling years, 6 plus court appearances... I can\'t wait for the 5 year burning!!! It\'s fantastic we share more - our divorce anniversary! I do want to write a book...I wouldn\'t change the names...they are not so innocent!
Have you ever gotten an appology? My ex just lies and lies and lies - even the judge caught him at lies. I am sooo thankful the Lord has taken him out of my life and I see this man for what he is - a loser!
Cowgirl! Such an amazing story ! Your an amazing women... Thank you for all the advice you\'ve given me while I was going through my process.... I hope to one day be at the same stage in life as you are now! Great big hugs and I look forward to your book = )
- it\'s story like yours that inspire me
Wow, you\'re always so busy. I hope you have a great time in AZ. bring shorts ! Good luck with the realtor stuff and the work you have lined up. Hope to hear from you soon.
Congratulations!