I talked with my grandpa for quite a while yesterday.  A lot of what he said made sense. He said that I was and probably always will be her second choice and she would always rationalize being with him no matter what he does. He could cheat on her a million times and she would just go back to him. Yeah she would be mad for a bit but would rationalize it as oh I wasn't there for him or I was being good enough to him or that I did something wrong.  I being her of course. So I wonder how many times it will take before she finally realizes that he is just going to hurt her again and again. When will enough be enough? He also asked me a really good question.  If I am always going to be the second choice am I sure I still want to pursue a relationship with her? I didn't know what to say to that. My mind says no you can't be second choice because it is try to protect my heart but my heart says I love her more than anything and I would gladly die for this girl. I respect and encourage his perspective simply because his first wife cheated on him with half the town and he he knew but always found a way to rationalize it until she finally just packed up and left one day while he was at work. He was so torn up he dropped down to 140 lbs because he couldn't eat. Then he realized that no matter how hard you try, you can't make anyone make you their first choice.