"Call me cynical but the Disney ending, where the nice guy gets the girl of his dreams and they fall in love and live happily ever after, just doesn't seem to happen.  In my experience the nice guy generally finishes last. But, I guessthe nice guy does get the girl on rare occasions.  However due to past experiences I am beginning to think that the nice guy truly, always, finishes last."
I wrote that last October.  Seems like it was true. She stopped talking to me which worried me and made me even more insecure but I guess it was justified. I had a feeling this would happen. I didn't want to be that guy. Now I am single and she is going to go back to him. She hasn't said that yet but I have a feeling.  I can't be second choice.  Not going to lie I kinda want to kill myself. it's my fault always is. I'm never good enough.  Funny thing is I was losing weight so she wouldn't be so disgusted by me. I have lost 23lbs since April 3rd. I have $990 coming in the mail and I can get a 12 ga for $300.  So that gives me $690 to spend before...98%. That gives me some time.  $600 can last me quite a while if I want it to.
I love how he always made her feel like shit for being a little. How he always ends up cheating on her. How she still goes back to him. That says a lot about me. I mean I must be one of the worst people on the planet if she prefers him over me.