I do believe I have come to the realization that no one wants to date a guy with scars.  Atleast scars that were self inflicted.  Seriously it's like a double standard and a half. If a guy doesn't date a girl with scars he's a complete douche but a gorl that wont date a guy with scars is completely fine. Not that I care if a girl has scars or not this is just merely an observation. In fact I love a girl with scars more than she'll ever know. She's perfect in my eyes but I can't let her know how I feel.  I realise now that I never had shot with her even though I thought I did. She wanted another guy. A normal guy. A guy that isn't so fucked up. A guy that is stable. A guy that even though he cheats is still better than me. I'm sorry that's out of line. I'm drunk so pay no mind to my crazy ramblings.  I guess I'll just cut and go to bed. Goodnight.