Gotta clear something up. It wasn't that you only wanted me when you were loaded it was that it was getting to a point where you simply wouldn't answer textxs while sober. It wasn't a sexual thing at all it was like you could only talk to me when you were wasted. When you were sober there was a 50/50 chance you wouldn't text me back at all. I understand that you work and have a life of your own but it hurt. It felt like I was losing you. you simply weren't talking to me. I know I have been replaced.  I realise that now. I guess I just need to find a way to stop fixating on you so much. I guess my jealousy is getting the better of me again and, on a semi random note, I don't want to hear what you think I want to hear. I want to hear how you feel. How you're really doing.  I do love you M. I want to help but it's like you don't trust me anymore. I don't know what I did for you to think you can't tell me anything. I'm sorry.
P.s. just because D cheated on you multiple times doesn't mean you have to do the same.  You're amazing and beautiful M with so much potential.  So much going for you. So much love to give and receive. Honestly I don't think he deserves you but I won't tell you who to date or marry. Just ask yourself though what happens after your married? is he just going to stop? Is he honestly just going to never see those girls again? When you have kids will he still be cheating on you? I don't say this to stir the pot I just don't want you to get hurt again love.