I want to leave so badly but I keep feeling like I can't. I'm in my dark place again and all I want is to disappear completely. I have been writing notes in my head but when I realized I didn't have her address I downloaded a delayed text app. Not that it matters.  She doesn't need me anymore.  No one does.  But it's better that she hears it from me when it happens.  A few days ago she said I was borderline mean. I guess she is finally seeing a glimpse of how fucked up I am. It's okay though. She won't have to tolerate me much longer. She'll be fine.Probably even better off once I am gone.
I don't know what demon has possessed my family but the only way they seem to describe/compliment me is that I have a big heart. I call bullshit on that but whatever. They dont see the real me. They dont even know me that well.
I don't know why I am writing this. Not like anyone truly cares. Not like anyone will give a damn.