Well any shot of not killing myself kinda just flew out the window. I'm hurting so fucking bad right now.  Between my mother disappearing again after she tried to kill herself and Kayla stealing everything she can get her hands on. Now the girl I have loved for the past 6 months thinks I don't care. When I found out about her and another boy I didnt leave my room for 3 days and didn't leave the house for 10 after that. It tore me up inside. She doesn't realize how much I love her. I guess trying to distance myself a little turned into a lot. I promised myself I wouldnt get hurt by her again. well now my heart feels like it's breaking over and over again.  I might make the date sooner.  I don't know how much longer I can take this. I just want it all to end, my life, my pain, my useless existence. I want it all to go away. I watched an anime where things from a parallel universe would feed off of people's existence until the people were no longer a part of this world in any way shape or form not even memories of them remained. If I could pull off something like that I would. In a heartbeat.