Writing this because she told me to. Honestly writing hasn't helped me since I was six but whatever.  I feel like killing myself because I do. I don't have a future and honestly I am just a fucking burden.  Always have been always will be. I don't help anyone or anything.  I am a fucking drain on my grandparents. At this point I feel like the only option I have left is to kill myself. I think about it 24/7. I have been doing things to keep my mind off of it but that isn't doing much. I dont even feel any pain physical or emotional I don't feel happy It's like purgatory and I hate it. There is no point to my existence. So I wrote about it which made me think more about it and now I really want to go through with it.