I thought my previous entry would be my last but I need an outlet. 
I have a feeling she is cutting as I'm writing this. She wont talk to me at all. I think she is afraid that I will do the same thing. If that is what is worrying her then I wont. I guess I just dont want her to shut me out. I love her and of course I don't want her to hurt this much but I understand if she needs to do it. I had planned on doing it tonight. I need that feeling right now but I won't because I know it would hurt her. The fact she might be relapsing doesn't bother me near as much as the fact she feels she can't talk to me about it. I know it's personal but it felt like she hated me and I had done something wrong. Randa if you are reading this, I love you and I want you to know you can tell me what you are thinking, feeling, doing no matter what it is. You know I wont judge you.