I knew I would get jealous.  At least I think it's jealousy.  I'm not sure. It bothered me when she started talking about another guy. I don't know why. Yes I love her and want her to be happy. I also want her to trust me but as soon as she started talking about another guy I kinda shut down and started to deflect.  First by talking about a roommate from high school then I started using short answers.  I know we will never be together because I know I wouldn't be good for her. So why does it bother me? I want to text her right now but I am afraid of interrupting something.  Maybe I need to move on but I seriously don't want to. I am of course being my presumptuous self in thinking I could ever get a girl as amazing as her. I dunno I'm possibly rambling due to lack of sleep just in case she texts or calls. I really wanted to call her today just to hear her voice but once again I didn't want  to bother her or for her to think I am being too clingy. I guess my best course of action is to love and support her from friend-zone. while it may bother me now I think it will be for the best and it will probably get easier the longer I stay here
On a semi-similar note I can't stop thinking about June 27th. I will do absolutely anything to keep what is planned for that day from happening. I cant let it happen. That is why my date has been postponed until sometime after the 27th when I guarantee she is in a safe state of mind.