Court tomorrow... kinda stressin. I have to testify against my mother so my grandparents get custody of the kids. I  will be removing myself from the picture just 14 hours after that. Last time I testified against her I was 6 and blanked on most of the questions.  I need to not cut tonight but I will because I need to deal with this stress somehow. No piano to play and writing just doesn't do what it used to. I just need some sort of release. I have been on the verge of crying all day but I can't because... well... I can't.  It might cause too much of an inconvenience on the rest of my family and I don't have anywhere private I can go. Haha I sound like a total pussy right now. I hate myself for being like that. As the saying goes nice guys finish last and well I hopefully will finish first in this race to reach the end of my life.