Mom
Was just notified that mom's surgery is complete. No bypass was needed, just a valve repair. This was frightening to us because she was precariously unhealthy going in to surgery: failing kidneys, inability to eat, saturated lungs, and diabetes. But she is out of the OR, as of a few moments ago.
Maybe now my headache will go away and I'll be able to sleep!
Maybe now my headache will go away and I'll be able to sleep!
Replies
Today a nurse from the surgeon\'s office talked to us for a long time
about mom\'s condition and how they would treat it. Her lung xray this
morning was worse, so they finally are going ahead with a filtration
system that is something like dialysis but milder as it is slower and
rationed.
Both she and mom\'s nurse insist that they have seen people worse than
this recover. They are optimistic about this filtration system and
says it typically works. They also answered all of our questions about
improvement potential, recovery, mom\'s own responses, alternatives,
risks, etc. I asked a lot about how long they leave people tied to
their bed, an issue that\'s really been bothering me, they said this is
not uncommon and that patients do get over it (they do release her to
exercise her limbs). The nurse even caught a visiting former patient
who spent 9 days in ICU and is now doing fine and brought her over to
meet us - she was so sweet and asked for mom\'s full name to put her on
their prayer list.
They also are giving mom a new bed that will put her more on her side.
The pulmonologist remains positive and thinks this will have a fast
effect on her lungs. We probably won\'t see much difference tomorrow
morning because they\'re getting this going pretty late tonight, but by
Friday we should know if it\'s working. They really seemed to have no
reason to think it wouldn\'t. IF it doesn\'t there are still some meds
they could use, but they hesitate because of their effects on her
kidneys.
She does have some form of pneumonia but they are staying calm about
it and monitoring it closely. So you see she has two strikes against
her lungs right now.
We visited her twice today but she was too medicated to be responsive.
They will continue to keep her pretty well medicated while she
continues to have the breathing tube and this treatment. We took two
visits off because she had so much going on tonight.
I\'m feeling much better today and dad seems to be doing really well.
He is very optimistic about this procedure and his positivity amazes
me. He has been humorous and gentle throughout all of this.
Thanks for riding this roller coaster with us.
Matt, my prayers are with your mom and your whole family. God Bless.
Any word on how her xrays look?
Still watching. Any news on whether this treatment showed signs on working yesterday?
Hoping your mom is doing better and will keep you and yours in my prayers.
*hugs*
I\'ll be praying for continued recovery of your Mother\'s health while you are at the retreat.
Well I really, really hate to tell you this but she\'s back on the
breathing tube. She didn\'t even get to the swallow tests. Apparently
she had trouble breathing last night so they had to put it back in.
The pulmonologist was surprised and says her lungs are \"clear as a
bell\". Everyone\'s guess is that it\'s a response to an infection,
because her white blood cell counts are up. Problem is that all her
current cultures are negative so they\'re testing again and don\'t know
what they\'re fighting. She also does not have a temp. Anyway, she\'s
sedated again too, of course.
She was off dialysis today and her kidneys did not kick in. They\'re
making plans to have her set up for regular dialysis. They were able
to begin weaning one of her bp meds and that\'s a good thing for the
day. I\'m not sure if they\'ll have to up it again for dialysis though.
Oh, Matt... I\'m so sorry for these setbacks... She is so obviously a strong woman that has proven time and time again that she is a fighter. Maybe it was just too early for her to be weaned and she still needs the help. I will continue to pray for her recovery and as always, if there\'s anything I can do please let me know. Hugs.
So sorry for this bad news. Praying!
I\'m sorry for the bad news Matt. Please if there\'s anything I can do let me know. Lots of comfort and prayers coming my way.
At the end of my mom\'s earthly life, a lot of things come into my mind. First, I notice that I am recovering many amazing memories of my childhood with her. I was fortunate enough to have a very good mother who bestowed many of my values on me. My memories of her are connected by common threads: laughter, pranks, nature, creativity, discovery, and encouragement. During my depressed teen years when I truly hated myself, I remember her telling me that she believed I would be successful at whatever endeavor I\'d try, and that she was eager to see what career paths lay ahead. At the time, nothing seemed obvious for a non-conformist punk artist/musician.
There is something else VERY amazing you all should know. Mom survived until the most immediate moments of midnight of my birthday, which is a happy thing for me (many people thought it would depress me). To me, it feels like a circle becoming complete; every year she would call me and say, \"[whatever number] of years ago today, I was heading to the hospital with you!\" I\'ll miss that. But last night, ThrTheRain (Andrea) was visiting my wife for a \"girl\'s night\" watching a movie together. That meant that Andrea was there the moment the news came, and was able to give me a huge hug right away. Now, keep in mind that I\'m healing from a painful 2009...to have someone there right that moment to give me a huge hug was so meaningful. It helps me not regret IN THE SLIGHTEST my choice to connect and commit to all of you. Any ignorant critique of the choice to extend compassion and empathy is made weak and foolish in a moment like that one, and in such a moment I am once again made so happy with my choices.
I never once saw my mom act as if her pain was the only pain that mattered. She never once saw a person in need, or wounded, or hurting, and turned them away, nor ever hid herself from them to shield her own comfort from the distress of others. She never saw pain as anyone\'s defining trait, but simply as a beacon that identified the wounded person as someone in need of understanding, love, and a listener. In fact, she was ashamed of the tendency of some people to isolate from the needs of others or to turn away from need, and even though she was often teased for it she had an unquenchable--and even sometimes wrong-headed--zeal for helping others. At times, it nearly cost her everything: her health, her money, her home, her life. But mom simply didn\'t know how to choose *not* to be in solidarity with others in need. I don\'t have delusions that our world always adores and understands such choices, but that makes it all the more precious when someone does it anyway, and that\'s how mom lived.
Beautiful woman. *fighting tears* Thanks for sharing. *hugs as always* -Seph
I am very happy to hear that her passing on your birthday means more to you than a sad date. She sounds like she was an amazing woman, and on the way to the campground, Tonya shared with us in the van a little about how she was a natural nurturer and took care of so many children in need as well as anyone who just needed it. This is what I find beautiful; I never met this woman, but from everyone\'s stories and riding this rollercoaster of health with her through you, I KNOW she was a wonderful woman who cared for others very deeply and was extremely proud of you. If I can leave that legacy and impression on others without ever speaking a word to them, I will be happy. She was obviously a very special woman and I hope that you can fully concentrate on yourself and your family right now. I hope sleep finds you tonight, and in Andrea\'s hug, I hope you felt all of ours as well.
Matt, your mother sounds like a beautiful and empathetic woman, I also see everything that you described you mom as ( a good listener, kind, caring) person in you. You definitely inherited her good naturedness and ability to care for others! I am glad she was able to make it to your birthday.