4:We either became alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality.

Trait 4: We either became alcoholics, we married them or both,or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.

This one is my fear... becoming like my father. :C My brother became an alcoholic. That made me the saddest! He is, in his mind, recovering. I'd say I have alcoholic tendencies, but I always try to keep myself in check! Others around me tell me I don't have a drinking problem, but to be careful, obviously. I had my party moments that worried my mother of course, but i can to the realization that my fun, young, party days could turn me into my father and I have made the appropriate adjustments. 

My husband... he is NOT an alcoholic THANK GOD! I couldn't imagine having a father and a husband love his drink more than me! 

"find another compulsive personality..." well, I do have an addictive personality. I like to smoke cigarettes, I cant stay away from trying out all the multi level marketing companies, and I LOVE food. I used to hav OCD (reference previous post regarding my clean bedroom and still always cleaning it!) and I used to ahve an eating disorder... now I think they call it binge eating? Back then my therapist called it "Over-eating Binge Disorder" or something. I love food so much and when it's good I always need to be the first in line, with the biggest plate and would always serve myself WAY TOO MUCH!!! I eventually went to counciling for this, my depression and anxiety, and my then suicidal thoughts! :/ It helped A LOT. I no longer binge eat, I still have mental cleaning compulsions; however, I have become a lazy human being and do NOT clean and clean and clean as much as I want to... 

I think my current obsessive compulsive personality would be less noticable? I feel cured of this trait, but would really need to ask the people around me (and not my parents because we are so different on the spectrum that normal anger in their eyes is just rage hahaha!). 

But, I definitly think that if I didn't come to the conclusion of my own parting being a posible start to a roll down fatherly lane, then it's VERY possible I could have continued and made it worse? I get thoughts on my bad days that "I just need a glass of wine!" and I have gotten intoxicated after a few too many and got angry and lashed out. But I am now clearly able to see that there were underlying issues in my relationship that needed to be addressed and I was penting them up, but a few glasses of liquid courage would allow me to get them out... but in inappropriate ways! :/ No mental illness and alcohol go together.

I wouldn't concider myslef an alcoholic (but would any alcoholic consider themselves one?) but I do consider myself a risk sicne my father, brother, great grandpa and great grandma were... I come from a long line and its time to break that cycle for my children... or at least try considering my nana and gumpy never drank alcohol and their son still became his grandparents.... :'(