Wow, haven't written in a while. Well, its been about 2 months since my dad died. It still doesn't feel real sometimes. I find myself thinking of him at all different times of the day and most times I can keep it under control and not feel like breaking down but there are times when I just want to break down and cry. It wouldn't be such a bad thing but this has happened at work or out and about when all of a sudden I get extremely sad. I guess its all part of the process of grieving. Overall I think I'm doing better. Some days better than others but still better. I wonder if its the new AD my pdoc has me on or if I'm just doing better on my own or a combination of the two. Either way I hope it continues. I'm still having thoughts of cutting a lot more than I want too. So far they haven't been full blown strong urges. I even had a dream that I was shopping for a box cutter and it wasn't to open boxes. I talked to my therapist about that one. Oh well, take the good with the bad I suppose.