Had a pretty good meeting with my therapist. We talked about IOP (she also helps to run that), methods to keep me safe when Im having urges to cut, why its so hard for me to reach out to friends and family for help when Im in the pit of depression and some other stuff I can't remember right now. She was trying to impress on me the importance of taking it one step at a time, try to get through the day moment by moment. Focus on the little victories as well like hey I showered today, I brushed my teeth, things like that. I seem to just brush those things off but she said that when your depressed even the little things that you can do are victories that should be acknowledged. I think she can tell Ive been on shaky ground. IOP starts Friday and she asked me if I thought I can make it to then. I had to be honest and tell her Im not 100% sure I can, I want to but Im just not sure. She asked, how will I know if I can't make it…..my response……I will be in the hospital. She let me barrow a meditation CD and gave me some homework to try and work on it as much as I can but to be easy on myself if I don't do it as much as I said I would. She also gave me about an extra 20 min. at the end of our session which I thought was cool. Like I said I think she knows Im not well, I can't hide it anymore. I almost broke down crying at one point. Im just a fucking mess.