Well, I made it through Thanksgiving. i ended up cooking and had my son, his friend, my brother in law and my mom here. Then all three of my nephews showed up after dinner and it was so great to see them. It was a tough day though. I broke down so many times and was thankful to have everyone here to help me through. I thought of Gene every minute of the day. He used to be so helpful in the kitchen and each time I would do something I'd think about how he would have been doing it with me. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this holiday season. I feel like I'm walking through blackness and I have this huge emptiness in my soul. I thought I was doing okay, but yesterday has just brought back all the raw pain I felt in the beginning of this process. Today I don't want to go on, but I will. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. One day, one step at a time.
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I thought I was doing okay.....this phrase out of this gives me great hope for you! That you even had a moment where you thought you were doing okay means there WILL be more moments like that!
You are right one step at a time and sometimes we make two steps forward and three backwards, its okey. Grieving has not time limit or any step method. My kids and I prepared the thanksgiving dinner and the three of us sat at the table and said a prayer and asked God to guide us and although my husband was not here pysically, I know he was spiritually. My husband was the one that always prepared the dinner so it was very hard and painful for us but we made it through. I also think that he was helping us and we kept remembering his advice when it came to make the turkey and ham. It came out very good. FallenAngel we will make it through this someday and our love ones will guide us. God bless you and take care. Hugs Linda