Well, I managed to spend the day yesterday cleaning up Gene's work room. What a mess. My dear husband didn't throw anything away he thought he might be able to fix. On top of that he must have more tools than Lowe's! All the while I was cleaning up I kept thinking how he was looking down on me saying "Don't touch that", and "Don't throw that away". So I didn't get rid of much, but I at least got it a little more organized. There was an old chair down there that was broken that he was going to fix, so I did put that out to the curb. Other than that, I filled bins and little boxes with tools that I don't even know what there for. It was after I was done that the sadness hit me. Gene would never have let me down there if he was alive. I just started weeping uncontrollably so I called my son and he stopped by and gave me a giant bear hug. We talked for a little while and I showed him what I had accomplished. All that is here will be his one day. I told him we really needed to have a conversation about what to keep and what to get rid of but I could tell he isn't ready for that yet. I'm sure I'm not either. So cleaning up will have to suffice for now. I'm not going anywhere, and neither is all that stuff in the basement! All in good time.
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That was a very brave thing to do. The first few times I went into my husband\'s business stuff at the storage were terrible....that was HIS stuff....it\'s gotten easier over time!
You are courageous to tackle that job. I remember taking Don\'s clothes out of the drawers and after touching them I put them in different drawers. For months I moved them from drawer to drawer. I cried in all of them, it is so hard. I felt then if I gave them away he couldn\'t come back. How much we hurt, how much we cry, I pray you find peace. Sharon
I understand how you feel.
I have put most of my husbands things in a room down in the basement. I took everything out of most of his drawers and closets and we just carried it down there. I haven\'t even started to sort things in his shop. I went into the room today and looked in a trunk that I put a bunch of his things in. I started crying so hard again. I just shut the lid and came out and shut the door. I hope that some day I can handle looking at it all and sorting it. It is so hard. It is like it really settles in every time that he will never be here again and will never need any of it.
It still is and always will be so unfair. It will be six months on the 3rd of October. On one hand I seem to be doing okay. On the other hand, I cannot stand sorting through anything...so I know I am just fooling myself still.
I hope that some day it will not be as painful so I can sort the rest of his things.
Denny\'s things remind me that I will never stop missing him.
How much tears have we shed and the pain only gets worse as the days go by. I still have my husbands clothes in the closet. The clothes he was wearing when the ambulance took him to the hospital is still in my vehicle and so is the tennis shoes he was wearing. I wear his t-shirts to sleep in so I can smell him. I don\'t think that I can start sorting out his things as yet. I miss him so much and I think that I am still hoping that this is nothing but a nightmare. I want to wake up. Sorry but this pain is driving me insane.