Another week over and I'm still standing.  I can't believe it's September already and it will soon be six months since Gene's been gone.  I didn't make it to work on Tuesday.  I just couldn't bring myself to put on the "I'm OK" face so I cried and slept the day away until it was time to go to grief counseling. I made it through the rest of the week.  It's been busy at work lately so it makes it easier for me to get through.   Fall is in the air and it makes me melancholy.  This is the time of year Gene and I used to go to the mountains, when all the leaves on the trees were beautiful shades of red and orange and the cool air was so refreshing.  I miss him so much everyday and the memories bring tears and sorrow.  He should be here with me.  I dreamed of him last night but I don't remember the context of the dream, only that he was in it.  I also dreamed of being shot in the head again.  There was no blood or gore, just a hole in my chin where the bullet went in.  All I kept thinking was I needed to get to the hospital.  I do have a hole, but it's in my heart and there is no doctor in the world that can fix it.