I'm having a hard time right now and I thought I be feeling better at this point. Nothing feels right, nothing feels good. I need to find a way through this and keep my sanity. I was thinking last night how I need to start looking at things as "mine" instead of "ours". But everything is "ours", Gene and mine. I look around and think I should make some changes hoping they would make it feel more comfortable rather than keeping everything just like it was when Gene was here. It's so hard to explain. I just can't keep going on this way crying every morning and forcing myself to do the smallest chores around the house. Fall is on the way and as much as I love this time of year, I'm dreading it too, because it means the holidays will follow and more "firsts" will start again. I remember how hard it was to get through Gene's birthday and our anniversary. Will I make it through the holidays? I can't think that far ahead right now.
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God bless you my friend! I can\'t imagine your pain. I send you prayers and hugs...... Sandy
We are already through 5.5 months since they died....we have proved that despite how VERY difficult that it is, that we CAN and ARE getting through this. At my grief group 10 days ago one of the facilitators mentioned that there are going to be times when you are convinced you are going crazy and the next weekend I WAS so grateful I had heard that \'cause I truly feared I was cracking up. We can give ourselves permission to live our autumn days, one day at a time and look at our months that we have gotten through as proof that we will have the courage to get through the holidays! At least we can try.
It is so hard not having our love ones beside us and there are times we think that we are going insane. Yesterday was our anniversary and it was so devastating because instead of him buying me flowers I was shopping for them to take to the gravesite. It was the worst time and all the memories starting flowing again and my daughter and I ended up crying. I just hope that the day will come when you are strong to be able to face the holidays which I am also dreading. I know that God will give us the strenght to continue. We have to remember our loved ones and think about what they would do if they were in our position. We have to be strong and keep their memories in our heart. God bless you. Lots of hugs Linda
Oh honey, the first ARE the hardest. Please know that any bit of anything you ever need from me is yours. You have my number, please call me!!!! Love you!