It's a rainy Saturday morning here.  I've got to take my mother to the grocery store today.  It's not my favorite thing to do as she takes hours in the store as if it was a day trip.  I know I should try to be more patient with her, but right now it's harder than ever.  When I go to the store I just want to get in and get out again.  And I've been feeling worse this past week.  I've cried everyday and getting to work has been hard.  I only made it in 3 days last week.  I've really got to get back full time.  I've been taking money out of my savings account to cover the bills and I can't keep doing that for much longer.   I just don't have a choice some days when my grief takes over my life and all I can do is cry.  This journey is so hard and I miss Gene so much.  I haven't accomplished much around the house is the last couple of weeks.  I'm lucky if I get the carpets vacuumed and the trash out.  It's all just so unimportant to me right now.  Will this ever get better?  I don't know.  I don't know if I'll even make it through the next hour, much less the next day.