It's a rainy Saturday morning here. I've got to take my mother to the grocery store today. It's not my favorite thing to do as she takes hours in the store as if it was a day trip. I know I should try to be more patient with her, but right now it's harder than ever. When I go to the store I just want to get in and get out again. And I've been feeling worse this past week. I've cried everyday and getting to work has been hard. I only made it in 3 days last week. I've really got to get back full time. I've been taking money out of my savings account to cover the bills and I can't keep doing that for much longer. I just don't have a choice some days when my grief takes over my life and all I can do is cry. This journey is so hard and I miss Gene so much. I haven't accomplished much around the house is the last couple of weeks. I'm lucky if I get the carpets vacuumed and the trash out. It's all just so unimportant to me right now. Will this ever get better? I don't know. I don't know if I'll even make it through the next hour, much less the next day.
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Oh sweet lady....they say the first year is the worst....in a couple of weeks we will both have already lived through half of the worst year of our life! That says a lot right there! We will make it through this!
I understand your pain and know those feelings about not doing much. House cleanning is the last thing on my list. I think of my husband all day long and cry so often that I wonder if this pain will some day become more bearable because I don\'t think it ever goes away. Like Carole12 said the first year is the worst. I just hope to make through hour by hour. God bless you and take care. Lots of hugs Linda