It's been four months, will I ever stop crying every morning upon waking?  I'm holding it back as I write determined to get through one day without the tears.  People tell me I'm moving forward, but I still feel like I'm standing still.  I go through the motions of my day.  I have a really hard time concentrating on my work.  Some tasks are still too overwhelming to think about.  I haven't done anything about Gene's retirement plans yet.  I washed all his clothes but they sit in a pile on the table in our bedroom.  I don't go downstairs much.  Not a thing has changed there since Gene died.  That was his room.  He'd go down there when he got home from work and when he just wanted to relax and watch TV.  His winter coats still hang on the rack and his shoes still sit by the door.   I've been in a bad place for over a week now.  I just can't seem to shake it.