Yesterday marked four months since Gene's been gone. It's been a bad week for me, but I'm still here. I've been doing yard work as therapy. It takes my mind off my grief and gives me a sense of accomplishment, something my job doesn't do for me. I have the best manicured lawn on the block right now (LOL). I got through the week at work but I'm still running out to my car when the grief becomes to overwhelming to hold back. I miss Gene so much and somedays I don't want to go on without him. I don't know right now how I'll ever get through this. The tears flow as if there's no end to them and the pain in my soul is killing me little by little. I pulled out a picture of Gene this morning. He's sitting on his motorcycle getting ready to go out and race. It's one of my favorite pictures of him. It's like I'm torturing myself but I wanted to see his face. Oh, I want him back. I know how unreasonable that is, but it's how I feel.
Replies
I am right there with you.....feeling the same things...4 months today since Butch\'s stroke, He died on March 15th. I can\'t believe I am still here, still dealing with so much sadness. I wouldn\'t have thought it possible to hurt this much for so long and to be able to just keep moving forward.
My four months will be July 21. I cry, mourn. And grieve so much every day. I know where you are coming from. My new life without Sheri is not what I ever wanted. Still I must go forward. She is in my heart and soul. I was never an emotional man until now. She meant that much to me!!! She would never allow me to have so much grief! So I try to get a hold of myself for her.
Gene would say the same to you, Carol. The love will never stop, but the grief needs to lesson, for our own sakes.
Best to you
Mike
Hi Carol - I\'m right there with you about the lawn thing....I\'ve been moving plants from one flowerbed to another, and digging new ones, and trading \'starts\' with a couple of my aunts. On those days when I don\'t quite know what to do with myself that\'s what I do. Friday was 3 months for me, and it\'s both harder and easier...hard because, well, we all know why it\'s harder, but easier because I\'m starting to figure things out little by little and don\'t feel quite as overwhelmed. We\'re getting there, my friend, we\'re still moving..... Love, Judy