Yesterday marked four months since Gene's been gone.  It's been a bad week for me, but I'm still here.  I've been doing yard work as therapy.  It takes my mind off my grief and gives me a sense of accomplishment, something my job doesn't do for me.  I have the best manicured lawn on the block right now (LOL).  I got through the week at work but I'm still running out to my car when the grief becomes to overwhelming to hold back. I miss Gene so much and somedays I don't want to go on without him.  I don't know right now how I'll ever get through this.  The tears flow as if there's no end to them and the pain in my soul is killing me little by little.  I pulled out a picture of Gene this morning.  He's sitting on his motorcycle getting ready to go out and race.  It's one of my favorite pictures of him.  It's like I'm torturing myself but I wanted to see his face.  Oh, I want him back.  I know how unreasonable that is, but it's how I feel.