I woke up crying again this morning. Will this pain ever get easier to deal with? I miss Gene every minute of every day. The weather isn't helping much. The sun was out when I woke up but now the clouds have moved in again and it's looking like more rain. I wanted to get out and plant some more basil in my garden, do some weeding and mow the front lawn, but I don't know how if I'll be able to today. I do have enough inside to keep me busy and I've got to get to the grocery store once I decide what I'm going to make the kids for dinner tomorrow night. If Gene were here I'd be making his favorite breakfast for him right now, pancakes with strawberry jam, but he's not and I'm missing him terribly. After breakfast he'd go downstairs and run a couple of races on his Playstation, maybe putz around in the garage. Maybe watch some TV. The history channel was his favorite. He could watch it for hours. But he's not, and I'm alone feeling lost and alone. I'm really more concerned about Paul today this being his first Father's Day without his dad. He's been so strong through this, but I know he has bad times just like me when he wishes his dad was still here. Well, it's not raining yet so I think I'll at least go get the front yard mowed. I don't need the riding mower for that, so no worries today about getting stuck in the mud again.