It's raining this morning, slow and steady. Pretty much how I feel I'm getting along, slow but not so steady. Lately all I want to do is sleep. I've been laying down every afternoon for about two hours. I do feel a little better when I get up, so maybe it's just my body's way of dealing with all it's going through right now. I got outside yesterday and set up my fountain out front, did some much needed laundry, ran to the store--everyday things that now seem so hard to do. Yet at least I get a small sense of accomplishment. Everyday that I manage to get out of bed is an accomplishment right now. Not sure what I'll do today. Maybe catch up on making some overdue phone calls. Right now all I want to do is crawl back in bed. The tears are overwhelming me right now. God, I miss Gene so much I don't know how my heart can take it. It hurts so bad I just want to scream and I feel sick to my stomach. How am I supposed to go on? My whole life was wrapped around being with him, now my world has crashed around me and I have absolutely no idea what to do without him. How am I supposed to go on? I don't have a clue right now. All I can do is cry.
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