I woke up crying this morning.  I had a really bad day yesterday, and today is starting out any better.  It's raining here, and I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep, it's the only peace I get.  I'm tired of fighting the sadness I feel every day, all day.  I miss Gene more and more each day that passes. I feel lost and scared.  The kids are coming for dinner tonight and I could'nt bring  myself to go to the grocery store yesterday. I've looked forward to Monday nights when they are here, but not today.  I know this is normal right now.  Grieving Gene's loss is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  Nothing compares to the pain I'm  feeling right now.