I feel like I have nothing to give right now.  My pain is so deep and just trying to get through each minute feels like climbing a mountain.  I come home and look around and don't have the ambition to do anything.  I'm in a deep valley right now and the climb out looks impossible at this moment.  All the things Gene used to handle now will fall on me.  I just had someone come out to look at the furnace so I could get a maintenance contract on it, cause I don't have a clue how to operate it.  If the thermostat doesn't turn it on, I'm lost.  Then there's the car maintenance, cleaning the gutters, mowing the lawn, changing the propane tank  on the stove.  I felt like wonder woman when I found the reset switch on the furnace.  Lots of new things to learn and challenges to overcome.  I feel like half a person right now.  Will I ever feel whole again?  Will this emptiness ever be filled?  I guess I'm on a journey to find out.