It's raining here this morning and kind of gloomy.  In some ways, it's comforting.  I miss Gene so much.  Each day I wake up and the reality of his loss hits me so hard I can barely take the pain.  I know that it won't always feel this raw, but right now it's little consolation for me.  What is getting me through this is the great network of friends and family.  My son's friends are watching over me.  One sent me a funny text last night, then stopped over for awhile.  Then my son showed up, then another friend, Chris.  As always, they got me laughing so hard.  This is what is helping to heal the pain. I am participating in the American Heart Association "Heart Walk" here in Maryland on April 25.  I've raised $500 so far and won a gift certificate for raising the most money on April 8.  My colleagues at work and friends have been most generous in helping to reach my goal.  I'm thinking of making a t-shirt with Gene's picture on it to wear during the walk.