the end
it seems as though it is all coming to an end. all my love and hard work down the drain because i had to go and stand up for myself.
i almost, ALMOST, wish i could take it back, and just continue to crush eggshells with my bare feet and spout apologies and make amends, but i would only become smaller and smaller.
i love him so much. i just can't believe that he is leaving me for something that isn't happening. why couldn't we just break up over financial struggles or because we don't like each other anymore? why can't he just seek help?
i'm so sad, i'm so fucking sad, and i'm so powerless. i just can't understand this. wouldn't he want to feel better?
i almost, ALMOST, wish i could take it back, and just continue to crush eggshells with my bare feet and spout apologies and make amends, but i would only become smaller and smaller.
i love him so much. i just can't believe that he is leaving me for something that isn't happening. why couldn't we just break up over financial struggles or because we don't like each other anymore? why can't he just seek help?
i'm so sad, i'm so fucking sad, and i'm so powerless. i just can't understand this. wouldn't he want to feel better?
Replies
well, the dog ate my homework. An overlong exhortation to strength and courage bit the digital dust this morning when DS decided to belch when I hit the Add button. All I can remember is that he has BPD, and this is how they work. I am so sorry for all of us who have to live with it. Understanding makes it only a little less painful. Do you have family with you there?
yeah, i have lots of family, and lots of support, but it is hard to get it to go in the direction of \"i believe in your efforts to make this relationship work.\" most of it is in the direction of \"if he can\'t see what is going on then he probably won\'t make any effort to change and you have to accept that.\"
well i am going to make the effort, then.
did you see my post about the journal?
thanks for the overlong exhortation- even if it didn\'t make it to me, i feel the warmth from it. :)