struggling
Recently I went through something very painful and traumatic. I am still trying to make sense of what happened and move on from it all. During this time I find myself wanting to be with my ex again simply for the comfort. Being with him always made other pain go away he made me numb to everything else in life and I am now in desperate need of that feeling right now. I have spent the entire day talking myself out of reaching out to him because I have been so good recently about that. my stomach is in knots and I am physically feeling sick right now because I am fighting this overwhelming urge to speak to him. I am so afraid I will fail and I will end up right back where I used to be. I am praying for strength to let this moment of anxiety pass and to feel strong again. I pray this weakness right now will pass very soon and I wont break again.
Since I met him he was the one who made my life worth something. that alone is a sad statement. He made every painful event never feel as painful because I felt surrounded and comforted by him. Right now I am searching for that feeling and I need it so badly. I don't know how this story will end and what is going to come from this all.
Since I met him he was the one who made my life worth something. that alone is a sad statement. He made every painful event never feel as painful because I felt surrounded and comforted by him. Right now I am searching for that feeling and I need it so badly. I don't know how this story will end and what is going to come from this all.
Replies
Hang in there Pinkrose28. You know that reaching out to him is not going to help you - in fact it will hurt you. One possibility is he just rejects your attempted connection - that will likely hurt more than not contacting him at all. Another possibility is he does try to offer comfort. But that will hurt you more in the long run as it will set you back in your healing from the end of the relationship.
Do you have other family or friends you can reach out to? Even someone you\'ve never been *that* close to? Sometimes these traumatic events in our lives cause us to reach out a bit in desperation - and find stronger connections with the people already in our lives. I experienced this with my brother and sister throughout the last few months. A small silver lining in a terrible situation.
Your ex never made your life worth something, *you* did. You just misattributed it to him. If it helps you get through this with no contact, review lists of all of his faults and ways that he treated you poorly.
You can make it through this. Keep yourself busy/distracted if you can. Even mindless stuff like TV can help with that. Get outside. Go for a walk/hike, move around. Go to a store/mall and do some window shopping.
Reach out on here. People will help. Best wishes.
This maybe late, but please stay strong. You have done so good! Sorry for the new event too. :( I hope it resolves itself soon.