20191119

Has it really been since June that I wrote a journal?  Time seems to go by faster and faster but nothing is becoming clear.  The tears may have stopped but I am just as lost in life as I was before we separated.

Lately I have the awful feeling that I am wasting the few years I have left with my mom being so far away.  I wonder if it was not so incredibly expensive in San Diego if I would have just moved there already.  Probably so.  Danny and I are good...but I don't think it's ever going to go anywhere. I can't ever see the two of us living together and we don't really talk of future plans.

I really want to get back to journaling again.  I've always had a crappy memory and it's only getting worse with age.  I wish I had started getting things down when I first met Danny and some of the great trips we have taken.  I'm not sure what holds me back...