20181127 Rambling

Rambling

So I guess the urge to journal has a lot to do with actually needing to vent out the anxiety. I wish I had the discipline to journal regardless…clearly the lazy in me comes out.    

I don’t have much to complain about.  Although I am having some anxiety…it’s been a lot worse in past years.  Thanksgiving was good and quiet and I made my first turkey in 20 years without any major catastrophe.  My boyfriend and I watched some movies and were very thankful for the rain that helped contain the Camp Fire. 

I don’t know what my issue is from today.  I may have eaten something bad…hopefully not actually getting sick.  Started having stomach issues yesterday afternoon and by evening I was doing my best to keep myself in check and not freak out.  I had some plain bland chicken and rice for dinner and that seemed to go down ok.  I didn’t sleep well at all.  Kept waking up with that anxiety panic thing throughout the night.  This morning I was once again awake before the alarm…two days in a row...not like me at all….especially running on no sleep.

I thought it was better this morning and for a little while it was…but then started to have stomach problems again.  It’s the weirdest feeling to feel sick and hungry at the same time.  I’ve been sipping my coffee slowly and started thinking maybe I should put something in there...however small…so now I am having some bland oatmeal….and hoping for improvement.  My heart is racing of course and I feel shaky…which doesn’t help matters.  Will there ever come a time where my health will not be such a big trigger?  UGH

Hopefully this passes quickly