Today I told my mom how my grandma was mean to me. I expected at least some understanding, cause my mom has been being put down by her too. But my mother started to bitch about my shoes as well. Yes, about shoes. I had a pair of a little used up shoes and left for college with only this pair ( i'll be back home for the weekend so i'll take more of my stuff). For her, it was a TRAGEDY. She cried to my cell phone that she's ashamed of me, that people will think im poor, that they will laugh at me. She called me at least 10 times. I told her that she's lucky to have problems LIKE THAT, that she only thinks about other people's opinions and thanks, but i'm effing 20 and if I want I'll wear those effing shoes for the rest of my life, because IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS HOW I DRESS. Oh, she threatened me also that she'll stop giving me money, if i dont use them anyway. She wants me to be confident but she keeps putting me down. How ridiculous! She thinks that people will make fun of me, yet SHE does it even more! It led me to reading "Toxic parents" by S. Forward. I'm glad this came up as I didn't feel ashamed and self loathing as usual. At least... less. I know that I'm worthy in anything I wear or not.
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Sounds like she can\'t break an old family pattern.
My g.ma is just the same; all she cares about is what other people think. Who gives a sh*t??!
Stay strong and wear \'em shoes girl. If somebody judges you by what you wear, they are shallow sh*ts and not worth your time or energy!
Hugs,
A xx
my mom isn\'t an N, she is loving and so on, but her behaviour is sometimes toxic. Gives me guilt trips and some other stuff. My grandma is far worse... But I dont think she\'s an N either. They just cant accept that im an adult.