THANK YOU
My dear dear family. There has been a lot going on in my life and I haven't been writing for a long time. First, thank you all for remembering Jackie. If it wasn't for all of you I never would have survived. I truly mean that. After Jackie died I never thought I would get through it. I wanted to die. I remember so many of you telling me that I can and will get through this horror. You all were so supportive and always listened and always answered with positive thoughts and loving care. This year was so difficult. Jackies anniversary came out on Mothers Day. The day before was the Mass said in her memory. For the last 4 years I did nothing on Mothers Day. It was so wrong of me. I have a son Paul who is just wonderful, loving and patient. This year I slept over his home Sat night into Sun nite and had a wonderful time. It was the best Mothers Day I had in 4 year's. My breakthrough came when Jackie appeared to me. I know I wrote about it. It was a MY miracle. It was a full appearance and she had this beautiful smile on her face. When I researched appearances from loved ones it was exactly what a saw. In her letter she said if she could come back she would and she did. I know now she is ok and watching over us. So I am surviving and doing better. I have a a great support system. And I know Jackie is with me every day.
I love you all and will write again soon. GAIL
Iij
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I love you all and will write again soon. GAIL
Iij
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Replies
I had not heard about Jackie\'s appearance. How lucky you are! I am 7 years into my life without my son Max. His birthday is three days before Mother\'s Day and I was surprised that even after this long a time I was laid flat on his birthday. I told myself \"it\'s just another day\" - but that\'s not true. May 6th is the day I brought him into this world and it is one of the highlights of my life. I\'m glad you celebrated Mother\'s Day with you son. I\'m sure he appreciated it.
You are so right. It is not just another day. I still CRY all the time. But it\'s not hysterical where I couldn\'t catch my breath. I am doing better but it will never truly go away for us. It\'s just not as intense as before. I miss Jackie every day and I still question WHY. But after seeing her I now believe that there has to be more after we die and I will be with her again.
Gail, you are right. Our kids are beyond well and we will see them again. Love to you and dearest Jackie, Linda
Great to hear from you. No...it will never go away...but we find a way to go on...love and gentle hugs...Karen
SO happy to read this dear Gail and I do remember when Jackie appeared to you and how it has helped you heal enormously and continues to.
How wonderful too to have shared that tender day which fell on Mother\'s Day this year with your precious son. To allow yourself to feel lovingly held and supported... What a gift that was for each of you in ways perhaps not even known in this moment.
Continue to nurture yourself as best as you are able and your journal is filled with HOPE! Thank YOU! :)
Hand in and and Heart to heart my friend and remembering Jackie with you,
XO Joanie
I know my son suffered Jackies loss different than I did. But he really never talked to me about it. Realizing that not spending Mothers Day with him must have really hurt him was the best thing that could have happened to me. I love him so much. This is such a process. I miss Jackie all the time. Some days I just sit by her grave for a while just talking to her. But during all this time I sort of set aside my son because he couldn\'t take her place. Of course he couldn\'t. That piece of my heart is gone. Paul is the living piece that I wasn\'t paying a lot of attention to. I fixed that. He was so happy I slept over and so was I. I feel so much better now. I hope no one ever makes that same mistake. I\'m lucky because my son was so patient with me. He has a great family and I figured that would be enough. Boy was I wrong. Love to everyone. Gail.
How did I miss this?, what incredible news! So exciting you are now feeling some joyful times as well!!! There are always \"those days\" but it is nice whenever it gets better, it is wonderful!
If I\'m being honest. Last night I was crying thinking \"is Jackie starting to fade\" I can never let that happen. I guess every now and then the guilt of being a little happy creeps up. It really is a rollercoaster ride. So many ups and downs. When that happens I think of Jackie coming to me. I still can\'t wrap my head around that. It was truly a miracle and the beginning of my healing
It is hard... and it will always be hard... learning to live with the sorrow that our children died... and keep alive the joy that they lived... hoping the joy will help carry us through the swamp of grief that will take us over... I\'m so glad you are giving your son love and support and he is doing the same for you... I think a lot of us for awhile get lost... Its not that we don\'t love the other people, children, spouses, extended family... but for awhile we\'re lost... We really do have to give thanks for the loved ones who see us through it and don\'t get angry and vengeful... Hoping your heart and mind will be filled with joy and memories of Joyce\'s life. Hugs Elissa