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I have much to say and opinions I would like to put down, but I just cant seem to do it. I have struggled with journaling for days now, and it only helps me, it is frustrating.
one thing that I think is suffering is my eating, I am eating lunch now but no breakfast, did laundry, walked 5 miles and have weeded. my body and my mind says to relax the rest of the day, but my other mind says you can nap, but no more relaxing, the battle rages on. yesterday was awful at work and I knew my son david and laura were coming around the same time as I get home and HE wanted to eat birthday dinner by 5, I was so exhausted I barely drove home. the situation at work esp. on the weekends has to be addressed and I will address it, I am not going to have another Saturday like yesterday. angie is basically not on subs anymore, she is doing the load and it takes her a long time, scott, manager still has her down as subs. all week and Saturday I am alone to open the salad station and sub station, during the week it isn't to bad, hard but do able but not weekends. the sub station had 4 platters to be done, went in early and worked my ass off to get them done and try and open the salads, the spoons didn't even get in till noon. I finally got my break at 1, I had been there since 7! you just don't get paid enough for this shit, I am not someones slave. I have to keep looking but it is so hard and frustrating. I can feel the toxicity coming in my body now from there and I don't like that, who needs that?
sad to say but laura showed more how into herself she is last night. everything has to be her way, david is like that too but seems to give in to her way. she runs a ton and does all this other crap and david said fshe is making me run with her and I have to go longer and I hate it. he doesn't like running. I asked him why do it, of course it is the best form of exercise for your body and you get fast results. I said I enjoy waling and laura had to say she would have to walk hours to get what she gets from running, who cares? so many missed oppurtunities last night for me to make a god come back or statement but I didn't think of them till today when walking! an older man was jogging very slowly down my road, we where on the porch and after he passed david laughed. what is so funny I asked, he said he was barely doing anything. I said he is out there and doing his best I give him a lot of credit. the social worker laura who should have compassion and the exercise expert said not a word. tired of all the shit, I want to one day express to david my feelings about how I feel when he tals to me and how he scares me, afraid of mentioning anything major or even small, he just argues everything and I feel very small and stupid. I don't know if I should bother, he will just get defensive.
mother is slipping bad, dad wants to sell the house, which should of been done a long time ago, mother is resisting. she is not safe there anymore, she is going blind in her good eye, she is blind in the other, my dad rushes home all the time to be back with her and he has told me and told david yesterday that he is house bound and it drives him crazy but he will never leave er alone unless things that he has to do. I have suggested getting an aide/companion for mom for now until things straighten out and they sell, that went no where. throw my arms in the air
one thing that I think is suffering is my eating, I am eating lunch now but no breakfast, did laundry, walked 5 miles and have weeded. my body and my mind says to relax the rest of the day, but my other mind says you can nap, but no more relaxing, the battle rages on. yesterday was awful at work and I knew my son david and laura were coming around the same time as I get home and HE wanted to eat birthday dinner by 5, I was so exhausted I barely drove home. the situation at work esp. on the weekends has to be addressed and I will address it, I am not going to have another Saturday like yesterday. angie is basically not on subs anymore, she is doing the load and it takes her a long time, scott, manager still has her down as subs. all week and Saturday I am alone to open the salad station and sub station, during the week it isn't to bad, hard but do able but not weekends. the sub station had 4 platters to be done, went in early and worked my ass off to get them done and try and open the salads, the spoons didn't even get in till noon. I finally got my break at 1, I had been there since 7! you just don't get paid enough for this shit, I am not someones slave. I have to keep looking but it is so hard and frustrating. I can feel the toxicity coming in my body now from there and I don't like that, who needs that?
sad to say but laura showed more how into herself she is last night. everything has to be her way, david is like that too but seems to give in to her way. she runs a ton and does all this other crap and david said fshe is making me run with her and I have to go longer and I hate it. he doesn't like running. I asked him why do it, of course it is the best form of exercise for your body and you get fast results. I said I enjoy waling and laura had to say she would have to walk hours to get what she gets from running, who cares? so many missed oppurtunities last night for me to make a god come back or statement but I didn't think of them till today when walking! an older man was jogging very slowly down my road, we where on the porch and after he passed david laughed. what is so funny I asked, he said he was barely doing anything. I said he is out there and doing his best I give him a lot of credit. the social worker laura who should have compassion and the exercise expert said not a word. tired of all the shit, I want to one day express to david my feelings about how I feel when he tals to me and how he scares me, afraid of mentioning anything major or even small, he just argues everything and I feel very small and stupid. I don't know if I should bother, he will just get defensive.
mother is slipping bad, dad wants to sell the house, which should of been done a long time ago, mother is resisting. she is not safe there anymore, she is going blind in her good eye, she is blind in the other, my dad rushes home all the time to be back with her and he has told me and told david yesterday that he is house bound and it drives him crazy but he will never leave er alone unless things that he has to do. I have suggested getting an aide/companion for mom for now until things straighten out and they sell, that went no where. throw my arms in the air
Replies
Hugs. I hope things get better.. I hope your mom can get the help she need. David should seriously consider how Laura treats him.... If he is giving in to her now then he is going to crack and things are going to get nasty. I hope you can keep yourself together through all the drama-llama. Hugs
A lot going on for you. Be kind to yourself and take care. Kim x
thans and I just have to keep going and decide what battle to fight or not bother to. I am going to talk to the store manager today about this coming Saturday and tell him I will not have a repeat of last Saturday, it will be worse as it is labor day weekend, what are they going to do, fire me, go ahead.
These differences in attitudes between family members and in-laws (or in-laws to be) can cause a lot of friction. I know my mother has sometimes been unhappy with the way my sister-in-law treats her son, my brother - and so have I. My mother has mentioned some things to me and I suppose she talks about it with my father but I know that she doest interfere in my brothersmarried lives. Theres no right way that can apply to all relationships but I suppose my mothers way makes some sense: avoiding interfering but sometimes letting out a little steam on the side. And she can also compliment my sister-in-law on her positive actions.
I too applaud people who arent particularly sporty who go out and exercising, even if theyre not stylish or fast. I suppose these laughers are the people that prevent some people from exercising in public at all. Still, your son is only 30 - theres still time for maturing on his part.
The pressure youre experiencing at work and with your parents sounds really bad. I hope your parents will agree to some help in the home.