last night i had myself a pity party. as i was mowing the lawn, which i like doing, i suddenly started crying and was angry at the same time. i started thinking about all the people i know who complain about all they have to do, people i know, and they have husbands. the lonliness aver came me and thats when the self pity really kicked in. i was suprised aboout the intensity of my feelings about being alone, no hugs, no anything. now i do realize that all relationships have bad times, dont get me wrong, its just been so long, its been 22 yrs being alone. well, i called my parents, as i didnt call them the day before, and well, i said to my mother how i was feeling, stupid i know. in short, she said she wished i had met someone i long time ago, basically saying well, its to late now type of thing. i said i still want to find someone, and she said well that would be nice to have someone to date. i said, i would love to marry again, and there was silence, then "oh". when will i learn not to talk?
i talked to collen yesterday and mentioned the school taxes, we only talked briefly, she had friends over, she then remembered and i told her i had saved about 1200, which was very hard, and she said we would talk about it. the niacamp i wanted to go too, i really feel i cant go. colleens birthday is right in the middle of the weekend and she told me she is having a party out on the new deck they built, i said, oh i dont know if ill be home. i felt so bad, plus if she finds out i paid to go and not spent that money on the taxes, she'll flip. shit. im sad also because david isnt coming home for his birtday, aug 28th., i guess i have to admit they are getting older but i still am sad. i just dont know what to do about nia and colleen, family should come first.
i talked to collen yesterday and mentioned the school taxes, we only talked briefly, she had friends over, she then remembered and i told her i had saved about 1200, which was very hard, and she said we would talk about it. the niacamp i wanted to go too, i really feel i cant go. colleens birthday is right in the middle of the weekend and she told me she is having a party out on the new deck they built, i said, oh i dont know if ill be home. i felt so bad, plus if she finds out i paid to go and not spent that money on the taxes, she'll flip. shit. im sad also because david isnt coming home for his birtday, aug 28th., i guess i have to admit they are getting older but i still am sad. i just dont know what to do about nia and colleen, family should come first.
Replies
Umm.....screw your mother. There is no reason why you can\'t meet someone now! Too bad Nia doesn\'t seem to have guys there! To be honest, I think if you could find some way to get out and just meet people, it would be great for you! ***shit my ferret just dropped my HUGE container with all my craft supplied all over the floor...will continue in a bit***
Ok sorry bout that...
So, yes...SCREW HER. Where does David live again? Something will work out regarding Colleen and the $$.
P.S. how is the bedroom going?!?! I want to see pictures!!!
Ann, I sure hope you meet a nice man who deserves your attention..It is never too late and don\'t give up on that. There are millions of people in this world and they are just waiting to be found by that special someone. You deserve to have someone to hug and just spend time with. As far as everything else, it will work out. Your a beautiful woman inside and outside..Take care of yourself and know the qualities you possess will make someone a very happy man...
Hi Ann, sorry you feeling so down. Although I have not been through the same grief as you have, I understand the \'being on your own feeling\'. I wish your family could be more supportive of you. Hope you doing okay. xxx
Being alone for 22 years is way too long but there is no reason to make it even longer . Don\'\'t listen to your mother. It is NEVER to late. Just remember the guy you met the other day riding your bike. Don\'t give up hope. The chase is half the fun. And you are allowed you occassional pity party by the way - we all are.
I hope you will go to the nia camp. Your kids are old enough to spend a birthday without mommy. They should have their own circle of friends by now and you could always do something the weekend after. It\'s time to take care of yourself every once in a while hon.
*hugs* My mom can be the same way sometimes... She doesn\'t talk much, but sometimes she just says mean things without meaning to. Just know she loves you, and try and find a new man for you. It\'s never too late.. my Nana was 85 and talking about the men she met at her apartment complex (for seniors).
I also hope you go to the nia camp... You need the get away, and Colleen should be able to handle a party without you. You can come see the new deck another time. I know there are money issues, but you can deal with those later *hugs again*
i truly dont know where or how to meet a man, ive tried the dating sites, useless. any ideas? i know my children are old enough but i still feel bad about colleen, esp. with her helping with the taxes, to go and spend money on me, as i said she would be pissed.larissa, its not that i dont think she cant handle the party, shell be fine, i just feel obligated to go. i was planning on celebrating the next weekend. karin lol, that is so funny about that man, i had forgotten.