My story

I read that to move forward in the healing process we need to tell and re-tell the story of the day of the death. So I am going to tell you all.
It was Sunday, I was helping my friends brother and working a concession stand at a school in the city for kids basketball tournaments. I sent Marissa a text that morning because she had stayed the night with her friend Hanna. A few hours later she called me telling me she had backed Hanna's car into her other friend house. I was so upset with her because she shouldnt have been driving it because she didnt have her license. We went back and forth on a solution to repairing Hanna's car. Then she asked if she could come up to the school and get some money so they could go get something to eat. Her and her friend Hanna came up there at around 4:00. I asked them if they will be going home soon because I wanted them out of that city before dark. There was no school the next day due to Martin Luther King day. They did not listen to me about coming back down to Pevely before dark and stayed in the City with these boys. The last text I got from her was at 4:59 PM saying she will get gas money for Hanna when she gets home. She didnt answer my calls or texts after that. I got angry with her because I worry so much when she doesnt answer me! I fell asleep somehow and got a call from one of her friends saying that the sister of the boy that was driving called her and asked how to get a hold of me, that there was a very bad accident and to please prepare myself. It felt like I was in a nightmare. I called the hospital frantically no one would help me!! We live almost an hour from the hospital. Marissa did not have her ID on her so they wouldnt even tell me if it was her. As soon as we got there a chaplain met us at the door! I still felt like I was just floating....I just said is she alive please tell me she is alive, he said yes, but she was gone for at least 12 minutes and they were able to bring her back. I was just thanking god she was still alive. I had been told Hanna died! Then my husband went to make sure it was her. She had severe brain trauma(very little activity), spine trauma, collapsed lungs, torn bladder, broken jaw, broken arm, broken ribs. She was on life support. I am still thanking GOD she is alive, believing she was going to be ok as long as she is here with me. I could not wrap my head around this. She looked so put together, no visible cuts. Her face was perfect. In the  How could it be? My baby was gone, that whole 5 days she was in that hospital bed, machines keeping her body alive. My life has stood still since that moment. If she would have just listened to me and came home, if there would have been school the next day she would have been home, if she would have never met these boys she wouldnt have been in that damn city! And our family and Hannas family would still have our wonderful girls.