I come here almost every day with the goal of wanting to write. I get wrapped up in the bloggs and run out of time or I just don't know what to write about anymore.my meds have me on a level ground. i'm wishing i was manic but i'm trying to behave. besides when my valium wears off i get tense so i think i'd depress anyway. i'm being productive and mostly responsible so i shouldn't be complaining. i don't know i'm just not happy. i want all my old habbits back, smoking, sex, food, blowing money, but i'm just being too controlled, too even-keeled, too normal. i take my pills, i go to bed, i wake up, i eat, i take my son to school, itake the old lady to work, i volenteer at the school, i take the kid home, i take the old lady home, i make dinner, i run to the store for pop or food or something dumb, i watch whatever addiction my wife has on TV for the night then i take my pills, i go to bed, iwake up....................... it's been like this for over a month and a half now i'm getting bored.time to take my pills.........................tim